indeedsir_backup | Fic: Troubled Times chapter 26 Part 3

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There was a short silence then Mr. Wooster said, “It's going to be a relief to tell Heffie. I'll have a friend that I can chat freely with and not have to hide the most important part of my life from. Besides, if I wait too much longer to tell him, he's liable to be hurt when he finds out. He will feel that I didn't trust him.”

“I feel the same relief concerning Wright. You do realise that Mr. Heflner will have to be told about his records prohibiting him from enlisting now. If he desires to fight the medical restriction, in hopes to serve with Wright, he needs to start the battle. Do not say any thing until I warn Wright that Mr. Heflner should be told.”

Mr. Wooster moved to prop himself up on an elbow. “It's extremely important that Heffie gets told soon. Wright can't keep that kind of information from him. I'm not sure I can explain just why it is so important, but I'm going to have a pop at it, so you understand.”

“Heffie loved Emily since he was six years old. There was none of the play with other boys in school; he always waited for Emily. And when she died, well, as far as he was concerned there would never be any one else. His love for her didn't die with her. He never intended for there to ever be any one else, and his opinion didn't change with her passing. Now he's revised everything because he loves Wright. It wasn't easy for him. If he and Wright get close, he's going to be handing over a lot of love and trust and placing it in the man's hands.

“When Wright gets papers, they'll have to discuss which service that he is going into, and Heffie will try to get them to accept him, too. If he discovers that Wright knew all along that they won't take him, Heffie will feel betrayed.”

“So do you wish to tell him or do you want me or Wright to?”

Mr. Wooster settled on my chest again, his arm going around me. He thought for a moment before saying, “If Wright feels he should be the one to spill the salad or...what is it that gets spilled?”

“Beans.”

“If Wright feels that he should be the one to spill the beans, let him. That would be best, because the man can calm Heffie easily. It would be best, too, since it would be an acknowledgement that their relationship has changed. As Heffie's valet, he can hide a few things from his employer without upsetting the man. As Heffie's lover, he will need to be very honest. If Wright doesn't want to, though, I'll tell him.”

We talked for some time more before falling to sleep.

*****************************

The next day was our last one at home before we returned to the factory. Shortly after lunch, Mr. Wooster retired to the study. We had received mail from my sister that morning, and he was intending to answer her missive. Perhaps it was the silence, as he often hummed or sang, that alerted me that he was having trouble. Whether it was the unusual quiet, or just some instinct concerning him, I hastened to the study. Pausing at the doorway, I saw that he was not writing. He was just staring at the paper.

I cleared my throat. His gaze swung upwards to meet mine, and I was surprised to see that he was angry. I hesitated before asking, “May I help you with something, sir?” “

“I don't talk this way...” he gestured to the letter, “...and I don't write my stories that way, but here I am making every word sound straight from the dictionary, because the bally war means everything is read now! I hate the bally law!”

In all our years together I had never heard bitterness in his voice, but I could perceive it clearly at that moment. I understood the reason for this outburst. As with many letters since the war began, my sister's often bore the stamp that showed the missive had been inspected and passed. There was no longer any privacy in messages, and as a result the letters exchanged between Mary and Mr. Wooster were more formal, as they attempted to make it sound as if their main reasons for communicating was not friendship, but business concerning the shop. Because, I reflected, if all Mr. Wooster is supposed to be to me is an employer then there is no reason for them to be friends. I knew this restriction was arduous to both of them. It was difficult for me, also. I was no longer able to see my sister, and now I could not freely talk to her, either. I often reminded myself that we always had to be careful previously with our letters.

I came to his side. “The only difference between writing a letter now and one previously is that before we knew our messages might be read, now we are certain that they are. It should make no difference, but I too feel it does.”

I began to massage his shoulders.

Morose swallowed up the anger on his face. “Just proves we weren't careful enough before.”

My fingers worked at the tension in his shoulders, feeling it slowly ease from him. “If you wish to ignore the censoring of letters and write with only the caution you used before the war I would not object. I have started to wonder of late, if we have been too careful.”

Puzzled blue eyes looked up at me. “What, Jeeves?”

“Observing Mr. Heflner and Wright has made me realise that too much caution might be cause for people to be suspicious. Until last night, Mr. Heflner and Wright had nothing to hide. They have always openly expressed care for each other. Mr. Heflner assumed you and I were friends simply because we have been together for so long. It is possible that it would seem stranger to people if we were not friends than if we are.”

Mr. Wooster stared at me for a moment. “I think that makes me feel better. If I understand you rightly; you want us to admit to friendship now?”

“I believe that would be the best course to take if the subject happens to come up in conversation. After sixteen years together, if we had nothing to hide, we would probably act much as Mr. Heflner and Wright did. I am not suggesting that we change our behaviour, simply that we should worry less if our friendship shows.”

He smiled up at me. “It's instinct to be careful now, but it will be nice to act friendly toward Mary again. This stiff, formal writing is blasted hard. I don't write my stories with such speech.”

“Exactly.” I glanced at what he had written and almost laughed. “You do not even sound like Bertram Wooster. You manage to write stories without giving away our relationship. I think you can be trusted to sound more like yourself.”

“I'll bet she is uncomfortable with having every letter read, too.”

“I am certain Mary is. She has always been fond of you, and I am sure she does not like having to hide her feelings. Just tell her that you realised recently that you and I will have been together for seventeen years soon and that you consider me a friend. I expect you will find her next letter to be less formal, also.”

“Thank you, Jeeves.”

He began humming Over the Rainbow under his breath and returned to his writing.

A short time later I answered the doorbell and found Mr. Heflner outside. I invited him inside, noting that he was calm and seemed a trifle embarrassed. As I took his coat, he said, “I know I said thank you last night, but I want to tell you again. Thank you, Jeeves.”

“You are welcome, sir.”

“Wright said to tell you that he would be stopping by this afternoon.”

Mr. Wooster was playing a tune on the piano when we came into the room. He paused and asked, “Heffie, old chap, how are you doing today?”

“Well. Very well. Bertie, would you go into town with me? There is something I need to do, and I can manage better if you're close by.”

“Right-ho.”

It was an hour and a half later before the knock at the back door signalled Wright's arrival. When we were both seated, I asked, “How are you doing today?”

He smiled. “I'm doing well. We had a very long talk last night. There's so much involved with this that I am not sure we covered everything, but we were both exhausted by the time we finished. The war makes everything harder. He fears what will happen if we are ever caught. Before the war, I would have said that we could flee the country, but everyone leaving is checked carefully now. Mr. Heflner hates the idea of taking me from my family, but the threat of my being called to serve hangs over both of us, too. I feel like there is an hourglass somewhere, and the sand is falling too quickly, but I will not rush him, either. If we can not leave, the only other option is jail. I told him that we just have to be very careful.”

“I can get both of you some false papers, in case you need to leave the country quickly. Your best course is, as you said, to be very careful. Mr. Wooster and I have had an understanding for eleven years now. There has been no trouble because of it, although we have been extremely cautious. Perhaps too cautious because you have always shown your care for Mr. Heflner, and no one has suspected you two of anything illicit.”

He sighed. “I wish I did not have to tell you this, but I would not be surprised if you told me that half of England knew my feelings toward Mr. Heflner before I did. When George and I were patching things up between us, he told me that the entire family knew what I was to my employer. His objection to the idea was that without society's acceptance and the blessing of marriage, I have no claim on Mr. Heflner and can be, to use his words, 'tossed aside like nothing more than a slave'. I did not try to deny his view of my association with my master, as I knew he would never believe me. Having spent time in Mr. Heflner's presence, he was no longer afraid that I would be used and thrown out, and so was willing to accept what he assumed my relationship was with my employer. I have discovered since that everyone in the family except Dave shared his opinion as to the nature of my relationship with Mr. Heflner. Dave and I have always been close. He did not believe I would ever keep such a huge secret from him. I understand now, though, why he occasionally would tell me that no matter what I did in life, I was still his brother. It helps Mr. Heflner and I because as I told him, my family has obviously not rejected me because of it, and I believe they would support us, if we needed it. So we have some protection.”

He added, “So do you and Mr. Wooster. I do not believe they know about your relationship with Mr. Wooster, but my relatives are very fond of you two. I have seen the family close around a cousin that needed help. He was accused of breaking into Mr. Vaughan's house and stealing his valuables. My cousin swore he was innocent, and the family backed him up. They did finally find the real thief. If Mr. Heflner and I were caught, obviously we would be guilty, but if my family felt the law should come first, they would have told me so clearly.”

He paused, and I thought over his words. I had always considered London to be my home, but I loved our cottage. Now I realised that I had found a home here. I did not know if Wright had the correct perspective on his family's views, but even the notion that Mr. Wooster and I had such support was a comforting one.

I said, “Thank you. That means a great deal to me.”

Wright nodded. “The ironic thing about this is that the very thing that upset George also has Mr. Heflner unhappy. We can not marry, and he desires the avowal of commitment.”

“Mr. Wooster may solve that problem for you. He intends to tell Mr. Heflner about his relationship with me. He will probably share with your employer our gentleman's agreement. Mr. Wooster and I exchanged vows in a private ceremony with just the two of us. Almost a year afterwards, we had a very unpleasant disagreement. I needed someone to talk to and confided in my sister. When matters were settled between my employer and me again, we had another ceremony with my sister and several members of my family as witnesses. I cherish both observances. Mr. Wooster and I would be glad to be witnesses for you, if you two decide to have a ceremony.”

He smiled. “I would not want one without you there, and Mr. Heflner would not be happy if Mr. Wooster did not attend. I will ask him tonight.”

“I am certain that he will accept.”

We spoke for some time. I shared with him the details of the ceremonies I had shared with Mr. Wooster and discussed with him what he wanted in such an observance. I was very aware that this was going to be all he had for a wedding, and it was important that he had everything he wanted, if it was possible. By talking it over with him, I guided the conversation, so that he concentrated on what was possible instead of grieving for what might never be. If his attitude was positive, I suspected Mr. Heflner's outlook would follow his example.

Eventually the conversation drifted to family news and Charlie's acceptance in the RAF. I asked, “You do understand that Mr. Heflner will have to be told about his records now.”

“Yes. I hope you do not mind, but I told him last night and made the appointment with a physician this morning. You did say that I could tell him, if I thought it wise to do so.”

“I did, and I am glad that you told him. How did he take it?”

“He was miserable. If he cannot serve with me, he wants to be allowed to stay at Mr. Wooster's side. Knowing that he may not be permitted to do either hurts him. I believe, however, that he will pass the medical.”

“If both civilian and military physicians clear him, I can, if you wish, help him get his records reviewed and the restriction moved quickly. I can also aid the two of you in being able to serve together, if you are called, although I can give you no guarantees.”

“I would prefer to prevent him from being in the service as long as possible, but I also want desperately to keep him near. And I know he would choose to go with me, if he could. I would be very uncomfortable taking the choice from him, and if I did not tell him at all, and he found out... I'm not sure he would ever trust me again. So I would be very grateful for any aid you could give me that would help keep us together.”

“Yes, Mr. Wooster stressed to me last night how precious Mr. Heflner's trust is and that his giving his heart to you is a monumental step for him.”

“It is. I have to be very open with him now.”

We spoke for some time before he went home to start cooking dinner.

***************************

Mr. Wooster arrived home shortly before dinner was served. He came into the kitchen, where I was finishing dinner. The wine had not been poured yet, and he proceeded to do so. As he did, Mr. Wooster said, “We went and got some lilies as Emily loved those. Popped over to the cemetery. I've been there before with Heffie. There's a spot where I can sit and see the grave, and know if anyone gets close to it. That way Heffie can have a private chat with Emily. Today he said his good-bye.” He sighed sadly.

My employer sat in a chair and stretched his legs out. “After we went to the ceremony, Heffie and I were rather at a lost as to where in town we could go and chat. The pier has been removed, the ice cream shop is closed. We finally went to the park.”

I ladled soup into bowls and listened while he said, “I've always wanted to be able to say to someone, 'Jeeves is my spouse' . Today I was finally allowed to do so. And, old chap, he thanked me for trusting him with the information! It was a very happy moment for me, Jeeves, one that I might not have again in life.”

I smiled. “I am glad you were given that.”

I placed the bowls of vegetable soup on the table. Mr. Wooster said, “Calling you my spouse brought us to the subject of marriage. I told Heffie about our gentleman's agreement. He's going to ask Wright for one.”

I laughed. “Wright intends to ask him the exact same question tonight.”

My employer grinned. “Should be an interesting night for both of them.”

“Indeed, sir. I do not think we will be interrupted tonight.”

We exchanged smiles. I sliced the bread and said, “Wright believes that his family already knows and accepts his relationship to Mr. Heflner. He feels his obvious devotion toward the man revealed it to them.”

“Possibly. They're very close to each other. If you're trying to hint that I should remember to be careful, no worries there. The men at the factory don't seem to suspect anything, though, so I think it's just that his family knows him well. At the factory, the general opinion seems to be that it's Wright's nature to act like a mother hen with Heffie. They laugh about it and occasionally tease him, but I haven't seen anyone act as if they guessed why Wright is so protective. It helps that they think Heffie is a sensitive plant. As one chappie told me; Heffie is as capable as any of us, perhaps more so as he's a veteran and not new to battle, but he feels it more deeply than the rest of us. So common thought seems to be that Wright has reason to be as he is toward Heffie, and no one connects it with the word love.”

Mr. Wooster sighed. “Do you want me to go back to being formal in my letters again?”

“No. I still feel that if we pretended not to be friends after so many years together, people will think it odd.”

“The other men at the Guard wouldn't believe it, if we did start speaking such rot. They've always assumed we were friends. So have the Wrights.”

“I agree. We would appear to be dishonest, and it is probable that people might start wondering why we feel a need to be deceptive.”

The first course having been served, I took my place at the table.

He said, “I did some thinking while Heffie was talking to Emily. About forbidden love and the law. I don't see why it's the law's concern what two people do together, if they both consent to it. Within reason, of course. Robbing banks is different. That is the law's concern, because it hurts people. It's not a private act that is agreed upon by both parties.”

“Your conclusion is the same as my own in this matter.”

He continued, “Just because it's not the law's business doesn't give us the right to go breaking it. The only thing I can come up with about that is that love comes before all else, but that leaves the poor blighter who is just inclined a certain way with no right to break the law. It's blasted wrong to sentence someone just because society doesn't approve of their nature, so a judge should be merciful. I know they aren't, though.”

He took several bites of the soup before adding, “I think what I'm missing in the equation is justice. There should be some justice in all this. Some thingummy where laws are not made to hurt people, but to forbid the causing of pain, and punish those that inflict it. So I guess I'd say that a law that causes hurt, but prevents none, is one that can be disobeyed. Dangerous ground there, but I think that's my belief.”

“I agree with you.”

I smiled at the puzzlement on his face.

Mr. Wooster asked, “That's it? You agree with me? No, 'have you considered' this time?”

“No, sir.”

“What troubles the Wooster bean about it, is what if I feel the law is hurtful, but those in charge disagree? Who's right?”

“Would you say the law causes anguish to others besides yourself?”

“It jolly well does! I didn't talk to Heffie about whether a cove had any feet to stand on when it came to disobeying the law, but he said, 'I'm now part of a group that is persecuted'. That's what got me thinking about the subj. again. I bally well don't think any law should be made that serves no purpose but to persecute someone.”

“He was not referring to our situation, but Bertrand Russell said, 'One should as a rule respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to interfere with happiness in all kinds of ways'. We respect public opinion by being discreet, but I have no qualms about disobeying the law.”

Mr. Wooster had taken several bites of his soup when his spoon was set down. “Those in charge are always wrong when they use power to persecute a group of people.”

I smiled. “Indeed, sir.”

We ate in silence for a few minutes, then Mr. Wooster asked, “How was your afternoon, Jeeves?”

“My afternoon was a good one. I had a long discussion with Wright. He informed me that he has told Mr. Heflner about his records. Did Mr. Heflner mention it to you?”

“Rather. He's not too happy about it. He's been searching the bean trying to remember someone telling him before he signed the discharge papers and coming up with nothing. He still can't recall even signing the papers. He has an appointment with a physician the day after we return from duty at the factory this time. If the physician gives Heffie the go ahead, I'm going to talk with Chandler. Maybe he will write up something in Heffie's favour. After all, Heffie has been pulling the same duties as the rest of us with no troubles.”

“If the physician feels Mr. Heflner can quality for service, I have a friend who can aid him with getting the rest of the restrictions removed. Which brings up a subject that you and I should discuss. If one of us receives papers, what branch of the military do you prefer?”

Mr. Wooster placed his spoon on the table and studied me. After a long moment, I said, “I suppose you have not considered the question before, but the day may arrive when we have to decide.”

Receiving no answer, I stood up. We were finished with the first course, and I needed to clear the table. Before I started I put a hand on his shoulder and said, “If you do not wish to think about it now, it can be put off until one of us is called.”

“It's been tossed around in the Wooster bean, but only briefly. Your question surprised me. I just assumed that you'd want to join up with the Navy and that's where we would go.”

I placed the roast chicken on the table and asked, “Surely you did not imagine that I would make such a decision with no input from you?”

“Not so much that, old fruit. I just knew that's what you'd want and concluded that was what we'd do. I didn't give it much thought. It is what you'd like, what?”

“Yes, sir. Perhaps, however, you would like to give it more thought before we decide?”

“No. I'm perfectly happy to go along with what you want.”

“Very good, sir.”

When I was sitting again, Mr. Wooster said, “Can you keep us together, if we are called up?”

“I can not promise you that I will be able to, but there is a very good possibility of it.”

Our normal custom over dinner was to talk about our day, books we had read recently, or the latest film. That evening, however, we discussed the war and possible outcomes and how we would deal with the different probabilities. It was not the most cheerful of conversations, but necessary given the times.

The rest of the evening was spent in more pleasant pursuits. Knowing we had to return to the factory and would be denied intimacy for several days, we retired to bed shortly after dinner. As we both had predicted, we were not interrupted. Sometime in the early morning, exhausted and happy, I drifted into slumber within his embrace, having been strengthened by our love once more.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

lawnnun.livejournal.com

I love this fic dearly, but I'm beginning to think that I'm going to lose my shit completely if you don't break out of Jeeves's POV. There's all this craziness going down over at Heffie's place and we don't know anything about it. He and Bertie are such friends, but we hardly get to see it. And so on. This fic just cries out for complimentary chapters and interludes and whatnot, because it's too good for us to miss these whacking great chunks of it.

From:

A Jeeves & Wooster Fan-Community

Fic: Troubled Times chapter 26 Part 3

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