May your sentence be GUILTY Ladies and Gentelmen of the Jury.

[applea.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. GoodgollyheavenstoBetseyGod!

I was reading my Jeeves Omnibus I bought on my trip to England (bless that bookstore! None of the ones near me carried much Wodehouse. ;;) and I have been struck by a thought.

Jeeves has to be an ex-jewel thief. He has to be.

Let me give you my evidence, ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom.

Exhibit A!
The strange knowledge Jeeves posses in the strange affair of the two paintings. Now the name of this escapade escapes me, but you know the one where Bertie and Aunt Dahlia burn peice by peice a painting, but they burned the wrong painting? And then Jeeves came up with a plan to blame it on the recent bought of art-theives going around. Ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, I bring to your attention how he knew how to break a window noislessly using treacle and brown paper. Usefull knowledge for a thief!

Exhibit B!
In Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit he knows the difference between cultured and genuine pearls, and how to tell the value and purity of a diamond. He claims he studied this "for some months at one time studying jewelery under the auspices of a cousin of mine who is in the trade."
Which trade is that?

Exhibit C!

He wouldn't take the cat back. Remember the cat Potato Chip was so fond of and would have lost the race without? He made Bertie attempt to take it back. It goes against the grain for a thief to return anything. He said it was not his place to RETURN cats. Is it his place to steal them perhaps?

I propose he was the ringleader of a gang of jewell thieves, in cahoots with his cousins and siblings.

Are there any fics to this effect? If not, we may have to write some!

I also propose the thought that he is training little Bertie to be a thief. Whenever it comes to stealing something, he always suggests Bertie, doesn't he?

Comments

[laughinggas13.livejournal.com]

Oh my word, please YES! If I didn't think that it would turn into a horrible farce in my hands, I'd have a shot at this myself.

So, an appeal to all our talented writers: you know you want to!

[fiorediloto.livejournal.com]

I've got no objection whatsoever if someone more talented (and native speaker) than me likes the idea and wants to try! I would absolutely love to read such a fic!