May your sentence be GUILTY Ladies and Gentelmen of the Jury.

[applea.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. GoodgollyheavenstoBetseyGod!

I was reading my Jeeves Omnibus I bought on my trip to England (bless that bookstore! None of the ones near me carried much Wodehouse. ;;) and I have been struck by a thought.

Jeeves has to be an ex-jewel thief. He has to be.

Let me give you my evidence, ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom.

Exhibit A!
The strange knowledge Jeeves posses in the strange affair of the two paintings. Now the name of this escapade escapes me, but you know the one where Bertie and Aunt Dahlia burn peice by peice a painting, but they burned the wrong painting? And then Jeeves came up with a plan to blame it on the recent bought of art-theives going around. Ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, I bring to your attention how he knew how to break a window noislessly using treacle and brown paper. Usefull knowledge for a thief!

Exhibit B!
In Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit he knows the difference between cultured and genuine pearls, and how to tell the value and purity of a diamond. He claims he studied this "for some months at one time studying jewelery under the auspices of a cousin of mine who is in the trade."
Which trade is that?

Exhibit C!

He wouldn't take the cat back. Remember the cat Potato Chip was so fond of and would have lost the race without? He made Bertie attempt to take it back. It goes against the grain for a thief to return anything. He said it was not his place to RETURN cats. Is it his place to steal them perhaps?

I propose he was the ringleader of a gang of jewell thieves, in cahoots with his cousins and siblings.

Are there any fics to this effect? If not, we may have to write some!

I also propose the thought that he is training little Bertie to be a thief. Whenever it comes to stealing something, he always suggests Bertie, doesn't he?

Comments

[random-nexus.livejournal.com]

Well, get to writing! Chop chop! *makes shooing gestures*

[applea.livejournal.com]

So you agree with me? :D

[laughinggas13.livejournal.com]

Oh please do write something to this effect! The evidence is quite startling! And I love the thought that he's training up Bertie. :D

[applea.livejournal.com]

I was like "Omigosh 0x0" when I was writing this and realized how often he made Bertie do illegal things.

[mrs-dalliard.livejournal.com]

So, big bad criminal mastermind R.Jeeves corrupting little innocent lamb B.Wooster.
Now that you've mentioned it, I can totally see Jeeves in that role. Oh please do write a fic about that.

[applea.livejournal.com]

*holds up bleeding hand with plotbunny dangling from it*

Ouch! It.. Won't.. Let.. Go!

[applea.livejournal.com]

"Good lord Jeeves!"
"Sir?"
"Don't say 'sir' in that soupy tone Jeeves! I'm all atwitter!"
"May I enquire as to the nature of your distress sir?"
"You bally well can Jeeves! I'm 50 feet in the soup now! Do you remember that diamond heist I told you about yesterday?"
"Very vividly sir."
"Well I've just found the largest hunk of the stuff under my socks!"
"Indeed sir?"
"Now is not the time for 'Indeed sir' Jeeves! Now is the time for action!"
"Sir, it has occured to me that Mr. Cheesewright was left alone for some time while you and I discussed his...situation in the kitchen."
"Good Lord Jeeves! You don't mean to suggest Stilton pinched that sparkily egg and hid it under my socks, do you?"
"He did seem to be rather aggravated during his tea sir."
"Jeeves, you're right! He looked like someone who was sitting on hot tacks and munching on leamons."
"Indeed sir."
"Golly jeeves, when his fiancee hears about this, the wedding will be off."
"The possibility is a striking one sir."
"..Say, weren't you asked to split them up?"
"Indeed sir, Mr. Cheeswright Senior had asked me some days ago to show his son the folly of marrying a stage-girl."
"Wow! Lucky for you then, eh Jeeves?"
"Indeed sir."
"But I'd never thought old Stilton had the brains for such a scheme..."

[waqaychay.livejournal.com]

OMG IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! ;D

[applea.livejournal.com]

DOESN'T IT? :D

[derien.livejournal.com]

And maybe he hates Soapy Sid partly because he's competition? He did certainly seem very conversant with Soapy Sid, although he did have an excuse for that (previous employer was hit by Sid). I wish I could claim that they'd worked together in the past, but Sid would have recognized him if that was the case.

[applea.livejournal.com]

Perhaps he hates Soapy Sid like he hates Brinkley? Because he's inferior at a job in which Jeeves excells?

[lady529.livejournal.com]

*puts you in writing chamber filled with nom and lovely inspiration*

It's perfect. And rather sexy.

The Lady 529

[applea.livejournal.com]

Nuuuu! Let me out! Let me...oh hey, coconut creme pie! My favorite! Ohhh...that would make a lovely story...

[chikkiboo.livejournal.com]

JEEVES IS REALLY JUST A DEEP COVER ALTER-EGO OF SIMON TEMPLAR

ALIAS

THE SAINT


8^O

[applea.livejournal.com]

I don't know who that is. D: *hides in shame*

[closetofheroes.livejournal.com]

Excellent theory!

And I have more evidence to support it! I just read 'Ring for Jeeves' (which, while not a fabulous novel, and sorely lacking in Bertie-ness, is certainly worth a glance just for more Jeeves-ness).

- In this novel he has persuaded his employer to become a 'silver ring bookie', and they both operate together disguised in check suits and false moustaches. So he's not averse to operating in disguise (we can also recall the 'Chief Inspector Witherspoon' ruse).

- When Jeeves and his employer enter the story there has actually been something of a car chase going on, with a winning customer pursuing them because they are unable to pay him his winnings. Who was behind the wheel? Jeeves, of course. Experienced in making getaways, perhaps?

- Later in the story Jeeves is able to suggest a very precise method to his employer for stealing a pendant that is currently fastened around a woman's neck. He even has a name for it, the 'spider sequence', which would suggest that he's used it before.

- He then coaches his employer through the 'spider sequence' - which supports that idea of him wanting to be a mentor to Bertie, drawing him into a life of crime.

- It is revealed that Jeeves has his own solicitor, or lawyer. Something a professional criminal would certainly find useful.

Other things:

- In at least two stories, Jeeves has knocked a character out with a heavy object - one of them a policeman, where he used an actual blackjack or cosh.

- He carries with him some kind of powerful sleeping drug, specifically for slipping into someone's drink, should the need arise. This is revealed in 'Much Obliged/Ties that Bind. He says that he is seldom without the stuff, and adds that opportunities for their use are constantly arising. (I can't quote exactly since I'm currently without the text.) Interesting, Jeeves.

[applea.livejournal.com]

Muahahhahahahah! The defense has no defense! >D

[feanix.livejournal.com]

You know, as we all do, that Jeeves is an absolute font of knowledge and much knowledge comes from experience.

I'm sure he was leading some interesting and exciting life before he became a valet...

[disassembly_rsn]

before he became a valet

Why "before"?

Does Jeeves really strike you as the kind of person who'd like to go fishing on his holidays?

[disclaimer: idea of someone with a regular job being a thief during his holidays has been nicked from John D. MacDonald's Cinnamon Skin]

[lawnnun.livejournal.com]

Jeeves is such a master criminal. In my personal canon, he has a Dark Past, and is actually enjoying still being able to play the game for much lower stakes. Bertie is a godsend, because he's so hopeless and innocent that *anything* can be a caper.

[applea.livejournal.com]

I read that too fast I thought you said "he has a Dark Pet" and I thought of Bertie in black leather and chains sitting at Jeeves feet. 0.0

Say something else. I want more images like that.

[fiorediloto.livejournal.com]

You know, criminal!Jeeves makes me think that only ONE person in the world could catch him. He's tall, he's dark and he's Victorian. Wanna guess who?

[theempress14.livejournal.com]

An aging Holmes tracking down Gentleman thief Jeeves? Yes plz. NAO.

woefully inappropriate Icon used only for the holmesy-ness

[pipariperho.livejournal.com]

OH YES! Please! With extra slass, if you don't awfully mind. Oh god, now I know what I am dreaming tonight...