indeedsir_backup | Three Drabbles

Three Drabbles
Author: saylee
Pairing: Bertie/Jeeves
Disclaimer: I don't own it, and I'm not making any money off this. You know the drill.
A/N: These are rather silly drabbles based on silly plot-bunnies I had to get out of my system. Unbeta’ed because this is a spur of the moment post.

Title: Madeline Bassett and the Tragic Engagement
Rating: G
Summary: In which Madeline Bassett is smarter than she seems.

Madeline Bassett was terribly concerned. She had been engaged to Bertie Wooster for nearly a month now and things were going so well that she could almost believe the fairies had decided to bless their union. And now the wedding date was fast approaching , and Bertie’s man, Jeeves, hadn’t done anything to stop the proceedings. He didn’t seem to be even trying.

Had they fought? How terribly tragic. She dabbed at a crystalline tear with a lace handkerchief. Poor dear Bertie had been pale and melancholy since the engagement was announced.

He would give it away completely. No one would believe she was the love of his life if he went on like this, and without his undying love for her people would speculate on why he didn’t marry, and his secret might come out. To think of that sweet, noble man being persecuted and kept from his one true love. Oh! It was too terribly sad. She daintily wiped her eyes with her hankie and thought of baby bunnies until she felt better.

She would speak to the man Jeeves tonight.

Title: The Glossup Method
Rating: R
Summary: Sir Roderick Glossup has developed the best treatment method ever.
A/N: Based on TV Canon for the Episode “Bridegroom Wanted.” The explanation of the Glossup Method is a direct quote from the show.

I must say, I had been rather pipped when Aunt Agatha, she of the jaws that bite and claws that catch, had had self and faithful manservant committed into Sir Roderick Glossup’s care to be treated for our ‘unnatural predilections’. As the cost of refusing to cooperate would have been to be forever ripped asunder from my adored valet, I had meekly done as I was told, but it was a disheartened Bertram who arrived at Sir Roderick’s hospital that first day.

Now, a week later, my mind had been changed, my eyes opened. This was heaven, and the reason for it was the Glossup method.

“The Glossup method is based on the patient being given an excess of whatever it is he most desires,” old Roddy had explained to me. “The patient will eventually revolt at the sheer immoderation of it and voluntarily deny himself.”

I kissed my way across Jeeves’s broad chest, still sweaty from our earlier exertions, and pressed my hips against his own. He clutched at my buttocks with strong fingers.

‘Again, sir?’ he gasped as I bit down lightly on his nipple. I grinned against his warm skin.

‘Mmm, yes. And again, and again, and again, my dear Jeeves. I’m nowhere near revolted yet.’

Title: Tall, Dark and Handsome
Rating: PG
Summary: In which Bertie decides to give Jeeves a raise.
A/N: Originally posted as a comment fic here.

'Jeeves,' Mr Wooster announced grandly as he stepped through the door of the flat, 'I have decided to boost your wages.'

'Sir?' I took his hat and stick. I would certainly accept the raise with good grace - I was no fool - but I was curious as to what had brought this on. My pay was already quite generous for a gentleman's personal gentleman, and there had been no recent attempts from Mr Wooster's friends to hire me away, even if I would have considered leaving his employ.

'I've just learned, Jeeves, that I ought to be paying you more for being tall, dark and handsome.'

I stifled a smile. 'While I am flattered by your assessment of my appearance, sir, that is for footmen, not valets.'

'Oh.' He flushed becomingly. 'Well, I think Id better give you the raise anyway. You're better looking than any footman I've ever seen. Unless there's something else you'd prefer?'

The moment had come. I stepped closer. 'I believe I can think of something, sir,' I murmured, and kissed him.