Fic: Troubled Times chapter 36 Part 2

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

 

“I would love to have your company. I want to talk you before you leave.”

I shut the door behind me and joined him at the sink. As he washed the dishes and I rinsed, he said, “Remind me that not being his gentleman's personal gentleman this evening somehow granted me equality, and while you are at it convince me that is what I wanted. Don't bother attempting to persuade me that I liked it, because nothing will make me believe that.”

I laughed. “I am afraid I cannot do that. No matter what Mr. Heflner or Mr. Wooster desires, it is a fact that class distinctions exist. I suspect they will after the war, too. I am perfectly content with my station in life, also. My purpose tonight was to make Mr. Wooster happy as I imagine yours was to please Mr. Heflner. Was it really that awful?”

“No, I enjoyed it for the most part. I am comfortable with the men of our unit but not being allowed to serve in our home-that was difficult.”

“And yet you say our home,” I teased.

He smiled. “I love this place. He wants me to view his residence as mine and I cannot seem to prevent myself from doing so.”

In a quiet voice, I replied, “You are his spouse now.”

While we worked we spoke of the preceding years. I missed the days gone by but for Wright the past had held its own trials. Still, he listened to my wistful longing for a time that had vanished.

As I dried the dishes and he put them away, we talked about the present in low, hushed voices. Between us there could be no government restriction of speech. We were too close. We whispered things that neither of us had dared to speak before and would say to no one else. We did not want our masters to know of our discouragement and lose heart. Wright and I did not believe that the Huns would be invading the country any time soon, however we both thought it likely that England would lose the war.

 

I said, “England is practically bankrupt. America is clearly not going to intervene. I am beginning to think that we can expect little help from the States. The people there do not want to send their sons to die in another war. I cannot blame them for that.”

 

“I could,” Wright said fiercely. “I do not want my brothers to die in this war. We did not ask for this war.”

 

That he did not apologise for his anger was a testament of our friendship. He knew I would understand. I bore his wrath over current events just as a short time later he shouldered my fury over Roberts' death. I said, “Mr. Wooster is determined to not hate the Huns for what they are doing, but if I am honest with myself, there are times when I hate them. I hate them for Roberts' death most of all but also for what they have done to our cities and for destroying the life I once had with my employer. I know it does not honour Roberts' memory but sometimes when I think of him, the hate and fury are like an inferno in my heart.” I poured out my anger towards the Huns and let it mingle with his outrage at the world.

 

Wright was very worried about his younger brothers. He said, “At first, we thought we would all try to join at the same time with the same branch of the military and try to stay together. Then we considered how Mum would feel if we all died in one battle or went down on the same ship. We decided to choose services as far apart from each other as possible so our parents would have a better chance of getting one of us back. It works out well that way because I can just wait to be called up and go into the Army. Charles really preferred the RAF. Still, it is difficult for Dave and me to let our younger brothers go by themselves while we stay here. The anguish of being left behind has certainly made me more understanding about Mr. Heflner hating the idea of remaining home when I get called up and have to leave. I did try once to persuade him to move in with Mr. Wooster but...” He shook his head.

I said, “I had just as much luck with suggesting that Mr. Wooster move in with Mr. Heflner. Friendship, no matter how strong, is different from love.”

 

Once we were finished with the dishes, Wright took a paper from a drawer and said, “This is my family's recipe for creamed carrots. You will probably not be able to get the ingredients for it now but hopefully it will be useful in the future. During the first year that you lived next door to us, I served this dish when Mr. Wooster shared dinner with us, as he loves it.”

 

I accepted the paper, feeling as if I had been given a great gift. I recalled what Mr. Wooster had told me after his first dinner at Mr. Heflner's residence. He had said, “Wright served these creamed carrots that were the bees' knees, Jeeves. Just as good as anything Anatole dishes up. Heffie loves them, too. It's a secret recipe that has belonged to Wright's family for ages.”

 

I said to Wright, “Your family does not mind your giving this to me?”

 

Wright turned from where he was heating water for coffee and said, “Jeeves, my family and I esteem you so highly that revealing the ingredients to that recipe is a small token of our friendship and in no way expresses its depth. Mum wrote that down while we were at the farm.”

 

“Thank you. I will treasure it and give it to no one. You are correct that Mr. Wooster loves this dish. I have heard him lavish praise upon it. I am very glad to have it for his pleasure and I suspect my own. I am greatly anticipating trying it one day.” I tucked the paper carefully into a pocket and retrieved cups for our coffee.

 

At the kitchen table, we discussed the future and made plans for surviving under the Nazis, if it came to that. We also conversed on the very likely possibility that he and Mr. Heflner would be called up. He said, “Should I die in battle, I doubt Mr. Heflner will outlive me long. If by some miracle, he should come home...”

 

I did not let him finish. I said, “If he comes home alone, Mr. Wooster and I will take care of him. I give you my word. Friendship may not be as strong as love, but we will give him all we can. Mr. Wooster views him as a brother. I will fight for him as you once did. If something happens to me...”

 

It was his turn to interrupt me. “You have my word with my name as my pledge. I will take care of Mr. Wooster. You know how devoted Mr. Heflner is to him. The two of us cannot replace you, but we will do everything we can for him. I will face death and back it down once more, if I need to.”

 

Our voices still hushed, we began to make plans for a happier future that we hoped for but did not truly believe would occur. We spoke of travelling, of meeting in New York, and of living as neighbours again one day. Before returning to the party, we discussed an exchange of correspondence and possible visits next summer including a reunion when Mr. Wooster and I returned to Cumbria for Mr. Buchanan's wedding.

 

************************************

 

A short time later, Mr. Wooster and I left Mr. Heflner's residence and started down the path to our home. I could not see him in the darkness that surrounded us, but I knew he was sad.

 

I thought back to the men to whom we had just said farewells. Mr. Wooster had been more than just a commander to them. He had been the friend that had listened to their various troubles. He had spent over an hour with Andy one evening, letting him talk about the advantages and disadvantages of returning to teaching. He had listened to Howard's worries about his son. He helped Mr. Buchanan become engaged and had been Mr. Heflner's confidant. It had been Mr. Wooster who had brought up the subject of Ralph's education with Mr. Buchanan and Mr. Heflner. That conversation had led to the three agreeing to finance Ralph and his older brother's education. My employer had given the Great War veterans the respect they were entitled to and had earned their respect by always taking their advice seriously.

 

There was only one order that Mr. Wooster had ever given that I suspected would have been disobeyed if the unfortunate circumstances spoken of had come to past. My employer had said to Mr. Little, “You are not to fall back if I hesitate. Don't stop to rescue me or come back for me. That goes for the rest of you, too.”

 

Mr. Little had replied, “We went to school...”

 

Mr. Wooster had interrupted him and said, “Then remember that I'm your commander now and have a pop at doing what you're told.”

 

To my surprise Mr. Little had cast a glance my way and said, “Are you going to give the same order to Jeeves?”

 

In an almost callous tone my employer had said, “Jeeves can take care of himself. You do as I've commanded.”

 

I was not bothered by my friend's cold reply concerning me. I knew that I had just been given an exemption from the order because I was his spouse and had privileges that even a close friend did not have. I was to have the liberty to make my own decisions in this matter. The uncaring tone was merely a shield to hide the fact that we were lovers. It puzzled most of the other men, however. They were accustomed to Mr. Wooster caring about everyone in the unit including me. I perceived comprehension of my employer's motives in Wright's face and saw the quick expression of understanding that flashed in Mr. Heflner's eyes.

 

Mr. Wooster's voice summoned me from my musings. He said, “I noticed your eye upon Ralph this eve., old chap. Thank you. I didn't want him blotto. He's still a bit young.”

 

“Wright had given instructions that he was not to be allowed enough alcohol to become intoxicated. I agree with you; he is too young.”

 

“Jeeves, could you get your paws on some film?”

 

“I doubt it, sir. May I ask why you want film?”

 

“When you were in the kitchen with Wright, we got to chatting about Oscar and Jasmine's wedding. Jasmine has a cousin who is loaning her a dress and the Wrights believe they will be able to save up enough sugar for a cake. Wright is managing the flowers somehow and someone in that huge family has a camera, only there's no film for it. Oscar said he might be able to get paper film. They'll be happy with that but it would be jolly good if they could have regular film.”

 

“I have not seen film for sale recently, but I will consider the matter.”

 

“Thank you, old chap.”

 

We were near our house now but due to the blackout could not see it. Mr. Wooster said, “Jeeves, when you and Wright faded into the kitchen, the other men thought they should tag after you two and help with the cleaning up. I know Wright and you are aware of class distinctions but the fact is that the men in the unit see both of you as one of them. I put a halt to the eagerness to give you a hand because as I told them, I believe you wanted to chat with Wright and get your adieus said. Was that correct, Jeeves, or should I have bunged them into the kitchen with you?”

 

“That was correct, and I thank you for controlling their good intentions.”

 

“You're welcome, old chap.”

 

*******************************

 

Once we were in his bedroom and I had begun undressing him, I said, “I would like to discuss something with you if you do not mind.”

 

“Carry on, Jeeves.”

 

I put his shirt over the back of a chair and started to aid him with his trousers. I said, “I owe you an apology. I am sorry that I did not care that some of my actions were detrimental to your keeping the respect and admiration of your friends that you deserve. Your good nature never ceases to amazes me. I disliked and was hurt by your resentment of me at times; now I feel fortunate that your rancour was not greater.”

 

He stepped out of his trousers and said softly, “No, Jeeves. I'm not going to let you take all the blame for our past tiffs. I wanted you to dash in and rescue me and my friends whenever we needed you to, and I re-paid your service by resenting that help. I trod right over your feelings, sometimes, too. I'll accept your apology, but I won't let you shoulder all the fault. I was resentful at times, but the word 'rancour' is a harsh one, old chap, and proves my point. I was in the wrong, too. Resentment is one thingummy, hostility is quite another.”

 

His words eased the guilt I had been experiencing. I traced his chin with my fingers. “You have a very good heart, sir. I have long since forgiven anything you might have done that brought me unhappiness.”

He slid out of his under shirt and handed it to me. “Wiped it from your mind, what?”

“Yes, sir. The only memories my heart holds are of your love.”

“The Jeeves' heart is good one, too.” He gathered me into his embrace. “You've supported and encouraged me the entire time we've been in the Guard and didn't try to take the reins from me even once.”

He rubbed my back and whispered in my ear, “You're my right hand man and I couldn't ask for better.”

He nuzzled my neck, “Your lemon worries me, though. Do you have some nefarious plan to ravish the old master from his sleep so we can play air raid again?”

Teasing him, I said, “I do not believe that ravish is the word you want to use. To answer your question, I enjoyed it so much last time that I hope to make it a nightly occurrence.”

He groaned. “Don't bother with the pyjamas, Jeeves. Just undress and ravish me, if that's the correct usage of the word. Perhaps I can make you tired enough that you won't even consider sabotaging the old master's repose.”

I smiled and started removing my own attire. “Just remember that you could be the one who becomes exhausted.”

My statement amused him and he laughed.

**********************************

The next day was our last full one at the cottage. That morning Mr. Wooster was eating his egg when he said in a hesitant voice, “Jeeves?”

“Yes, sir?”

“I can guess, but is what I'm thinking is going to happen to our chickens going to happen, what?”

I started to tell him that I had no idea what he thought was going to happen to the chickens, but the look of anguish on his face squelched the notion. I replied, “The young man who cares for our chickens will continue to tend to them. Instead of bringing the eggs to me, they will be taken to Wright. In the event that Wright is called up, one of his family members will be given the eggs.”

His face brightened. “Jolly good! They've kept us in eggs, and contented eggs at that.”

“Wright and I are both of the opinion that it is a waste to kill a chicken for one meal if the fowl might produce many meals should it be allowed to live.”

“That's a corker of a policy, old chap.”

“Thank you, sir. I have been contemplating what we should do about the car. I believe that it would be best to park it at Mr. Heflner's residence. However, I might be able to get enough petrol to take it back with us. What do you desire?”

He took a sip of his coffee and considered my question. “The war isn't going to be over any time soon as far as I can see.”

He looked hopefully at me. Sadly I shook my head. “I do not feel that the ending is in sight yet.”

He nodded. “So we can expect to not have petrol for some time to come. Leave it here then, old chap. It will be of no use to us without petrol.”

“Very good, sir.”

***********************************************

Mr. Heflner spent several hours at our residence that afternoon. As I served them carrot cake, I knew from just a glance at Mr. Heflner that he was miserable about our upcoming move, although there was nothing in his voice or expressions that displayed his sadness. I remembered his happiness the day of the ceremony and wished that he had not had it taken from him so quickly.

These reflections fluttered quickly through my mind along with the understanding that I knew the man well. I could tell that he had gained weight since the ceremony. I knew his favourite foods, I knew the books he liked to read, I knew his true opinions about the war, and many other facts about him. I had cooked for him, served him numerous meals, aided him, answered his questions when he needed knowledge and talked with him more times than I could remember. Since we had moved into this cottage there had hardly been a day when he and Mr. Wooster had not been together. I had been serving him for over two years, I concluded. I had been conscious that the move would bring anguish, but I had not realised just how heart rending it truly would be until that moment.

 

Mr. Heflner was saying to Mr. Wooster, “Well, their President can bunny about four freedoms but...”

 

He paused in mid-sentence as if aware of my depressing thoughts and glanced up at me. He said, “I'll miss you, too, Jeeves. You know that, what?”

 

I met his eyes and said, “Yes, sir. I will miss you, also.”

 

He said to Mr. Wooster, “Wright is going to miss you, too. We've chatted about it. He feels that he's practically served you for two years now.”

 

“Exactly my sentiments concerning you, sir,” I said softly before slipping from the room. I hurried to the kitchen, wrenching my mind back to the many chores waiting for me.

 

I was not surprised when Mr. Heflner arrived in the kitchen some twenty minutes later. He stood in the doorway and waited there until I said, “You may come in, sir.”

 

I had been cleaning the refrigerator in preparation for our departure. I shut the refrigerator door and turned to Mr. Heflner. I noticed that he had brought the plates from the drawing room and started to tell him that I would have returned for them, but I comprehended that they were just an excuse for him to visit the kitchen.

 

While I wiped my hands, he carefully placed the dishes in the sink and said, “The cake was delicious, Jeeves. Thank you. Not just for the cake; for everything. If there is ever anything I can do for you, you have only to ask.”

 

I met his gaze and answered, “I know, sir. Thank you. It has been an honour to serve you. I hope you know that you can come to me should you ever need aid.”

 

“I know.” His eyes filled and he looked away from me for a moment. When he met my gaze again, his eyes were free of tears and the sadness almost entirely tucked away. He said, “It's only for five months; we'll see each other at Oscar's wedding.”

 

Unsaid words drifted in the air between us as dust motes caught in a beam of sunlight. This was not a typical parting; there were too many 'ifs' to take into account. We would see each other if he and Wright were not in training somewhere due to being called up, if the Huns did not invade the country, if we were all still alive, if....

 

My heart tried to shy away from these thoughts but my mind persisted. It could be a very long time until Mr. Wooster and I returned to the cottage to live. In the meantime visits would have to do and those could not be counted on to happen.

 

I had known these facts previously but seeing them mirrored in Mr. Heflner's eyes made the anguish that much greater.

 

In an attempt to banish all these reflections, I said firmly, “It is only for five months.”

 

He nodded and said, “Take care of yourself, Jeeves.”

 

“I will, sir. I hope you will exercise due caution yourself.”

 

Mr. Heflner answered, “I will. I'll see you this summer.”

 

“I am greatly anticipating the day.”

 

He left the room, leaving me standing silently, feeling left alone with only sorrow as a companion. I was still standing there when the sound of the piano reached my ears. I stepped out into the hall.

 

Mr. Wooster and Mr. Heflner were singing: “It's a lovely day tomorrow
Tomorrow is a lovely day

Come and feast your tear dimmed eyes
On tomorrow's clear blue skies

If today your heart is weary
If ev'ry little thing looks grey

Just forget your troubles and learn to say
Tomorrow is a lovely day.”

 

When the song was finished, they began another. Neither man's voice was steady as they sang: “We'll meet again. We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when but I know we'll meet again some sunny day. Keep smiling through, just like you always do, till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.”

 

They finished with: “We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when...”

 

Then the door shut behind Mr. Heflner. The music stopped and I heard my employer say, “Ad multos annos.”

 

Mr. Wooster rushed into my arms. I held him tightly and we found comfort in being held and loved.

 

 

 

Tbc

 

Comments

:'(

[mxdp.livejournal.com]

It's those goodbyes to everyone, they make me sniffle.

“So you ask me if I believe I've earned my promotion...” he took a deep breath, “and the answer is yes, I believe I have.”
(...)
Oh, Bertie. Am so proud. I bet Jeeves is too.
(...)
He turned back to me and I said, “I am damned proud of you, too.”
Huzzay!

Re: :'(

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

The goodbyes were rough on me, too.

I've never doubted that Bertie is capable of far more than many people think he is. And I suspect nothing means as much to Bertie as praise from Jeeves.

Thank you!

[cicerothewriter.livejournal.com]

So sad, but so beautiful! I'm sorry that Jeeves and Bertie have to leave, but hopefully all will be well for them after the war.

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the reply! There was definitely more sadness in this one than I like to write but 1941 was a tough year.

[hazeltea.livejournal.com]

I love this story so much. When you're all finished, is there any chance you can upload it as a .pdf so that i can load it onto my kindle and read it again as a novella?

I think my favorite bit was the carrots. Things like that matter so much, no matter how small they seem on the surface.

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! My computer skills are limited but I'll certaintly try when we reach that point.

You are very right about the carrots. The gift meant a great deal to both men.

[storyfan.livejournal.com]

I agree. I'd also like to have this as a PDF so I can read it all in one go. Or maybe two, since it's so long!

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I think that is something I can do. I will try once finished. I'm only in 1941 now. I suspect the entire story is going to come to 60+ chapters.

PDF

[ravenmoonart.livejournal.com]

I was going to ask this too! I seldom comment here, but have faithfully been following this wonderful story for ages now. Ive taken to squirreling chapters away in my bookmarks to read in "lump" form later on, so as to not lose the thread. I'm really looking forward to a wonderful indulgent re-read of the whole thing once its completed!

Re: PDF

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I will definitely try to get it into a pdf once done. I'm fairly confident that I can as I know how to get it into a PDF. It's the finding a place to upload it that I'm shaky on. I'm a bit afraid of how long the thing will be once done but that shouldn't hinder getting it into a PDF.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

I'm finally caught up on this great story. I love what you've done with them, as sad and as hard as it is. I especially love seeing people recognise Bertie's competence and respect him.

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading and commenting! It was a hard time. I've always seen Bertie as a capable person and I believe that people like Chandler could see him as he really was instead of viewing him as his aunts do.

[ironicbees.livejournal.com]

I can't be too sad over this parting, as I'm confident you have happy endings in store, but it is rather melancholy with the boys leaving their home & friends of the past...how many years has it been now? Three? I'm more worried about Jeeves & Bertie's own eventual separation. It's sad to even think about. :(

(Is it weird of me to be relieved that the chickens won't be killed?)

I've never heard Vera Lynn's performance of "It's a Lovely Day Tomorrow"; I'm more familiar with this version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOT96o6jiI0

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Yes, three years. I found this parting to be sad. I'm going to have a rough time separating Bertie and Jeeves. I intend to keep the partings as few as I can.

It's kind of you to be glad about the chickens. I felt the chickens deserved special mention because at the time there was a big shortage of eggs due to people having killed chickens. Not to eat, although they did eat them, but because of lack of food to feed them. {That's why in earlier chapters I mention Jeeves making their food.}

Vera Lynn's version is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o62JUStG1vw

She was very popular during WWII.

Thanks for sharing Payne's version. I like it a lot!

Thank you for reading and for the comments!

[frihed.livejournal.com]

Hiya.
I'm new to this fandom, but I really want to give your fic a try as my first with this pairing.
Would you mind posting the links to the other chapters somewhere?
Thanks in advance!

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Hello, welcome to the fandom!

My stories including earlier chapters:

http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=emeraldreeve&keyword=My%20Stories&filter=all

I hope you enjoy the story! Thank you for asking!

PS

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

I love your icon! One of my favourite quotes from BBC Sherlock.

[gini-baggins.livejournal.com]

Oh so heartbreaking sad but so so beautiful! :(

Although it's good to know Bertie and Heffie will be taken care of if something would happen to Jeeves or Wright, I do hope Heffie and Wright would take care of Jeeves if something would happen to Bertie, but I know they would. And vice versa. :)

I can't wait to read what happens next!!

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

Wright and Jeeves have their agreement about their employers but Bertie and Heffie have their own agreements. So, yes, Jeeves would be cared for. As would Wright.

I'm working on the next chapter. It's written. I need to give it some polish and a good read over before sending it to betas.

If I haven't replied to anything you commented on, please let me know. LJ hasn't been so good at letting me know of replies lately. :(

Thank you!

Will Jeeves get paid??

[krisreinke.livejournal.com]

This is the strangest question - but it struck me as I was rereading the entire series ( so thank you for posting the links!!) Bertie was urging Jeeves to consider all the money as 'community property' and eventually Jeeves somewhat got the idea.

But now Jeeves is working elsewhere - and I would guess that the crypt. folks will be paying him. So will Bertie be able to accept that Jeeves will contribute something (maybe not on the Wooster wealth level, but I assume still something) to the family coffers? Or will this cause troubles with Bertie - who I think on some level values himself as the 'provider' even as he values Jeeves as the 'manager' of the joint resources.

Strange question - so you need not answer - and perhaps it will not come up at all.... but it did strike me and so.... I did have to pass along my question.

Wonderful story - as always - and I am forever eager to read the next chapter. (And the next and the next *grin* ) Thanks muchly!