indeedsir_backup | (no subject)

As promised, here's the first part to a fic for

sunsetsinthewes
Title: Jeeves and the Sweetness of an Enemy
Author: Pip
Chapter: 1/5:
Pairing: Bertie/Jeeves, Pinker/ Stiffy
Chapter Summary: Stiffy asks Bertie a favour. Bertie and Jeeves make a decision.
Rating: G for now. For now.
Words: Five hundred seventy something.
Disclaimer: Plot credited to the subconscious mind of

sunsetsinthewes. All else belongs to Plum.

“Dash it all, Jeeves! Mean to say, dash it all!”

“Indeed, sir.”
“Of all the bally nerve... that girl thinks she can just ‘phone up out of the blue and place orders for her fiancé to room with yours truly!”

“Yes, sir, you’ll pardon me for mentioning but it was, in fact, I who informed you of the matter, sir. You needn’t take up measures to reiterate the circumstances on my accord.”

“I know Jeeves... I’m just... Well, I’m pipped, Jeeves!”

“I understand, sir.”

“Positively dashed. That’s not to say a bit upset with young Miss Byng, soon to be Mrs. Pinker.”

“Indeed, sir. Perhaps if you will drink this, it will soothe your nerves somewhat.”

“Thank you, Jeeves. I’ll need it if I’m to work up an excuse not to house for the Reverend Pinker. Mean to say, Jeeves, I’m not a bally hotel! After all those two blighters put us through last weekend at Totleigh, Jeeves, they can find room and board elsewhere.”

“You’ll pardon me for saying so, sir, but given our previous encounters with Miss Byng, I personally would feel better allowing Mr. Pinker in the guest room for the required three days.”

“Oh? And why is that, Jeeves?”

“If I might speak freely on the subject, sir, Miss Byng may or may not reveal her advantage immediately, but I shouldn’t be surprised if, should you deny Miss Byng’s relatively simple request, you would be subject to far worse consequences. Miss Byng, sir, while by no means an entirely malicious force, is a lady of sufficient cunning whose intentions always lie in her own best interests. It would be highly uncharacteristic of her to ask a favour of you without some insurance to your agreement.”

“Ah, yes, La Byng certainly does have a pension for blackmail, eh, Jeeves?”

“While your sentiment matches my own calculations precisely, sir, I believe you mean penchant.”

“Eh? Oh, yes, right... Well, what do you think her hand is?”

“I’m sure I couldn’t say, sir. In my opinion this is all the more reason to take her, if I might say so, reasonable request in favour of an unknown and potentially more unpleasant predicament. I am thinking, sir, of the proverb, ‘Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’.”

Well, the man was right. For all that Stiffy was worth; her flaw was her pen-thingummy for backup plans that often involved one B. Wooster taking a nosedive into the all-familiar soup. Besides, I’m sure the Code wouldn’t stand for sending an old school chum away from the door, let alone an old school chum who happened to be a man of God. Not, at least, without telling him where he could find a suitable manger for the night.

No, Stinker Pinker would have to be accepted into the nest with open arms; so I told Jeeves to go set out the linens and bedclothes in the guestroom and prepare to receive the aforementioned Pinker. He very-good-sir’d me and mentioned the Reverend was due to arrive at a quarter past six with his fiancée, who would be driving back to Totleigh after dining chez Wooster. It faintly registered in the back of the Wooster noggin that this implied Jeeves had already taken the liberty of accepted Stiffy’s proposition over the ‘phone, but the sentiment was lost by the time Jeeves trickled back into the sitting room with the good old b. and s. All was forgiven.