Fic: Heat wave

[pipariperho.livejournal.com]

Title: Jeeves and the heat wave
Characters/pairing: Bertie/Jeeves
Rating: R
Genre: slash, humour
Summary: When a heat wave washes over London, Bertie has sleeping problems.
Warnings: Plot here is probably the biggest cliché in fan fiction history but what the heck. Practise makes perfect and I have lot of practising to do so that’s why clichés are useful…
Beta: Polished by the great triedunture. I’m afraid I don’t have words big enough to say how good work she did with this piece so good old thanks have to do. Any muddy footprints you find are left by me, I think.

 

It is a funny thing I had noticed over the times I spent travelling around the globe with Jeeves, that no matter where you are, when discussing the weather, if you happen pop out the fact that you are from the Old Blighty, there is always a sympathetic nod you get for an answer. The only thing that foreign people seem to know about the weather in England is that it is often very rotten indeed.

Shows what they know, as I had spent many summers of my youth playing under the warm and friendly rays of sun. But as warm as those s.’s of my y. were, they paled in comparison to the dreadful heat wave took this island in its firm grip when I was adult and had nowhere to escape it.

It, the heat wave that is, had been over the metrop. for five days and it seemed there was no end to it. The sun beamed from clear sky from dawn ‘til dusk, and it was foolish to go outside for longer than twenty minutes as it would have turned any chap to a poor imitation of Anatole’s finest beef. In this sit. one Bertram Wilberforce was a very familiar sight at the Drones’ swimming pool, enjoying the little relief it allowed. After that I usually enjoyed my lunch at the club too, as it would be very unsporting to ask Jeeves use the kitchen when it was nearly hot enough to boil the water without using the stove. The Drones was almost empty these days as everyone who could, had left the metrop. and ran at some more pleasant spot were winds blew night and day, leaving the few unlucky ones in town.

As the reader might have guessed, I had not the luck to run away to some shadowy spot under big trees and spent the sunny days there. It had been mere days ago when I had last time escaped the clutches of matrimony and ran away from Madeline Basset, so Totleigh Towers was not welcoming yours truly. I could have always visited Brinkley Court but my dearest relative by blood was visiting her old school chum at sea-side too far away so that was out of question too, and as there were no suitable cottages free in such a short notice, I was forced to spend the days in the metrop. and avoid the heat the best I could.

While I did the avoiding bit, Jeeves on the other hand seemed to be unaffected by the heat. I had asked him to loosen up the dress code he seemed to follow strictly under all circ.’s, but the answer I got when I told him to at least drop the jacket made me nearly shiver. So I let him dress how it suited him best as long as he let me do what I wished with my clothing. I believe he didn’t approve of that either, as he was all coldness after I walked in the living room without waistcoat and jacket, but that was something he had to accept. After all, when two men with iron will meet, it can’t always be the same one bending in the end.

The heat wave became more unbearable each day. I was bored having nothing else to do except swimming at the Drones and reading, and the metrop. was practically empty so there wasn’t a soul to call and ask for a drink. Well, of course Jeeves was with me but as he was offering the cold shoulder to the young master over the dressing matter, I thought it might offend his feudal spirit too much if I asked him to keep me company outside our flat, so I left him to do what valets usually do after finishing their chores. What Jeeves did these days and nights after he had finished his c. was to lock himself in his lair, probably to improve his mind with a book or other, which left me in the merry company of myself.

If my memory serves me right I think it was the fifth day when I thought there would be no other choice but to pack our suitcases and take the next train to North Pole or any other location cooler than our homestead was at the mo’. The barometer showed no signs of relief and the temperance - or is it temperature? - was anything but comfortable even when the sun had settled good time since. It was so bally uncomfortable that I couldn’t sleep a wink. I tossed and turned all night, kicked my blanket and sheet to the floor and ripped off my pyjama-top to keep them company, but nothing worked. I even toddled to the kitchen for some ice-cubes which I thought might help with a bit of water but I must have drunk too much because then I couldn’t sleep for the rummy feeling in my tummy. I had nothing else to do except listen to the insufferable ticking of the clock as the longest night of my life since Jeeves made me bicycle eighteen miles ticked slowly by.

Then, at six ack emma I heard the most welcomed sounds from the bathroom. By the seventh sense he has, Jeeves knows what I need even in the dead of night and now he was in bathroom drawing a bath, a cold one I hoped. I jumped out of my bed and dashed to the bathroom when I heard him finish.

The coolness of the room I entered was enough to make my body relax and as all the light there was came from the open door and a small candle on the sink, I felt for the first time since the previous evening that I could fall asleep right then and there. With a biggish yawn I rushed to the bathtub, stripping off the rest of my clothing. The tricky part was to take off the pyjama pants while moving the legs, so when I tried to get my left foot out of the clutches of the fabric I lost my balance. I tried to stablise myself by hopping on one foot but in that I failed. I felt the world turn around me when I fell to the bathtub with a yelp.

I have experienced falls before so I wasn’t surprised to see my whole life flashing in my mind but, as the fall wasn’t long, I didn’t have time to see more than Jeeves. I was sure I would break my head or some other parts of my body as that sort of falling usually ends with at least bruises. I did not however expect I would be caught. A pair of strong arms softened the falling and guided me so that the big splash I made didn’t hurt.

It took time before my breathing calmed enough to let me think. When that was easier I noticed I was lying on top of Jeeves in a rather awkward position. The bathtub seemed a bit small, two coves with longish legs and all. I moved my hands to take some of my weight away from his body because he seemed to have some problems with breathing, judging by way he inhaled when I moved my chest away his. He took few deep in-and-outs before he spoke.
“Are you all right, sir?”

I nodded my affirmative. My breathing was so unsteady after the fall that I couldn’t say anything, not a word of apology for plunging on him that way or a cheerful ‘good morning, Jeeves’. A few deep in-and-outs of my own were needed before my brain started to work properly. When that happened I realised every error in my thinking and where I had landed. In this early hour it was of course Jeeves’ bath. I may have thought him as some sort of superhuman but naturally he had to take a bath every once in a while or otherwise he would be rather smelly. It just was something I had never imagined before, a naked Jeeves.

A naked Jeeves, lying under my equally naked corpus.

When the realisation of the sit. hit my consciousness like a ton of stones or other heavy material, I felt how my blood moved in me, making me blush under his questioning gaze. There was hint of curiosity in his eyes and I felt how my blood travelled also southwards, making the part of my anatomy which a gentleman never mentions in mixed company move the way it had never before done in company, mixed or not. That was when I realized I had to move or Jeeves would find out how exciting I thought the whole sit. was and my life would be very Jeevesless in a matter of seconds.

For the sake of a probably confused reader, it might be good at this point of my tale to make it clear that there was more in the sit. than met the eye. Over the time Jeeves had been in my service, I had developed certain sort of tendre towards the man. One might say I had fallen rather helplessly in love with my manservant and that person would be perfectly correct indeed. So as much as I wished I could stay in the rather small bathtub with him, I knew I had to end the moment now and perhaps continue it in the privacy of my room if I wished him to not leave me.

That was why I started to move away from him but when I did that I slipped as the soapy water made things somewhat slippery and once again I was chest-against-chest over him. The sudden movement ruined my plans of hiding my body’s reactions as they were made painfully clear to Jeeves. I gasped as did he. I looked in his eyes and he looked back. No gesture conveyed that he wished to be at someplace entirely. As a matter of fact I felt he was either in a similar condition as I was or there was Jeeves’ rubber duck caught between us. My eyes studied his features which I had not seen this close before. I stopped when I reached his lips. Soft, pink and slightly parted, perfectly kissable.

Like reading my thoughts, he parted his lips a little more and his tongue peeked out, moistening the lips in an inviting manner and I couldn’t stop myself. So I pressed my lips hard against his pair and closed my eyes. It felt like an eternity before he caught my meaning, although it couldn’t be more than a second but it was enough to make me think he didn’t want this after all. But then he kissed me back and there was nothing to stop him. It was slow and sloppy at first on my part, but as Jeeves is very good at teaching things to the last of the Woosters, I think I was quick to learn the art of kissing and things developed fast. His hands found my hair when he started to suck my bottom lip and I’m not sure which felt more topping, his hands or his lips. A moment or three later his tongue was begging audience which I gladly accepted and opened my mouth to let him in.

The water had been cold when I had landed in it but now it felt rather warm and the more we kissed the more it seemed to gain heat until I was sure we would be boiled if we didn’t do anything about it. I broke our kiss in desperate need of air. Jeeves’ breathing was racing as well when he gazed at me with wonder and lust.
“Sir...”
“Call me Bertie,” I gasped interrupting him.
“Bertie,” he said my name slowly and I felt wonderful things in the midsection of my body. “How far are you willing to go?”
“Wherever you like. Please, Jeeves,” was all I could say, or moan, before he pulled me into a heated kiss with one hand and used his other hand to reach between us. I gasped rather loudly and broke our lip-lock for the second time that night when I felt his hand close around our arousals and began to stroke. I kissed my way down his jaw line until I reached his neck and rested my head there, sucking and nibbling the skin under my lips, which might have resulted a moan or two from Jeeves or maybe it was his own handwork doing that.

It didn’t take long before I reached my peak and Jeeves followed me soon after. I kissed slowly his neck until I reached a place where I felt the beating of his heart and stopped there, sighing.

Jeeves’ hands were caressing my back. Everything felt so in place I didn’t want to move.
“Sir?” he asked. I didn’t want to go back to his ‘sir’ again, not now, so I left the cosy place of his neck to look at him.
“Bertie,” I stated.
“Very good, Bertie,” he said and I beamed at him. He paused for a moment like choosing what to say next.

“May I ask what made you come here this morning? Did I accidentally wake you up?”
“Wake up? The bally heat didn’t let me sleep at all.”
“You haven’t slept at all?”
“I should think not. Made quite a mess of my bed, I’m afraid.”
“No need to worry that, si… Bertie. I am more worried of the state you will be in this evening if you don’t get any sleep.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I have no plans for tonight, Jeeves.” After I had said that Jeeves lifted his right eyebrow a quarter of an inch and I realised something. “Unless you have something particular in mind, that is. But I can’t think any thing that could help me to catch sleep. I think I just have to stay awake until I am so tired that I will drop on the floor and sleep there.”

“There might be a solution, Bertie.” Now that was said in a soupy sort of voice and there was a certain sort of shimmer in his eyes which made the water around us warm up some good ten degrees again.
“Well, I’ll agree to anything if I can doze off even for a few minutes.”
“I will endeavour to do my best so you can sleep more than mere minutes,” he said and I felt his hand moving down on my back until he reached a certain spot. How that would help me to catch some of the forty winks, I had no idea.

“I hope you know what to do as I am a bit at a loss here.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you, Jeeves. My life and body are yours, and so is my heart. I love you Jeeves.” He smiled. A real smile was on his lips, the first one I had ever seen, and I did my best to save it in my mind.
“And I love you, Bertie,” he said and kissed me. For a long time I gave no thought at all to my tiredness and what he intended to do to get me sleep like a baby as the kissing was too corking to waste on thinking anything else. He on the other hand did not forget his duty to his young master, and after a good bit of kissing I felt his finger slip in my backdoor. I gasped and pulled away.

“I say, Jeeves, what are you doing?”
“My scheme is a simple one, Bertie,” he said while turning to pay more attention on my neck with his lips. What he said next was whispered huskily. “As you may know, physical activity is often required before a person can fall asleep properly, which is why I intend to stimulate your body until the desired results are gained.”
“Did I hear you right, Jeeves?” I asked when I realized what he had said. “That you plan to put me through my paces until I nod off?”
“That is my plan, yes.” He smirked at my look of astonishment and moved the finger I had quite forgotten was still inside me. It didn’t feel odd at all now, so I told him so, or at least tried to. I had a sentence in my mind already, something along the lines ‘Right-ho, Jeeves, carry on,’ but then his finger found a certain place I didn’t know could even exist and it felt better than anything what I had felt previously.
“Ooh, Jeeves,” was all I could recall of what I had had in my mind earlier, so I said that, or gasped it, several times. His finger made my hips move in the rhythm he created and I was completely in his control. He increased the movements slowly and I was brought to my climax for the second time that morning.

Jeeves held me in his arms when I tried to come back in my senses again, moving his hands over my body. I was tired so I yawned against his chest.
“Was that enough, or shall I repeat the treatment?”
“I think it was enough for this morning, but I fear you have to repeat it again in the evening, if this blasted heat is still as strong,” I had power enough to say. The thought of Jeeves repeating everything and much more made me wish this summer would continue for an eternity.
“That will be my pleasure, Bertie,” he said. “Now, I’m afraid, we have to leave this bath.”
“Must we? I think I could fall asleep rather well right here. It will be so warm in my bedroom now that the sun is already shining in.”
“Perhaps you could sleep elsewhere,” Jeeves said surprising me.
“Well, if you say so, but the chesterfield is even worse than my bed.” I yawned again. “On the other hand I think I will sleep rather soundly even on floor.”
“That is not needed, sir.” He sounded a tad insulted, like I had no trust in his brain.
“Bertie,” I had to correct.
“Bertie. Come.”

We left the comforts of the bathtub and dried ourselves with towels and put on our bathrobes before Jeeves took my hand and guided me through my bedroom and a few other rooms.
“I believe you may find this room suitable enough,” he said and opened the door to his lair. The coolness of it was all I needed.
“It’s all I need, Jeeves,” I said when I took in his room from the small bookshelf full of improving books to the single bed he had. I took a few steps towards the bed and opened my bathrobe, letting it fall on the floor. Before I could do more, however, I was pulled back against Jeeves’ chest and he was kissing me hard on my neck. I leaned back into him, my tiredness suddenly forgotten. He ran his hands roughly over my body a few times before he was gone as suddenly as he had attacked.

“If I don’t leave now, I fear you won’t be able to sleep at all,” I heard him say. I looked where he stood, taking his suit from the wardrobe. Somehow the lack of sleep didn’t bother me much, but when I slipped in his bed, enjoying the cool feeling of the sheets against my skin and the scent of Jeeves’ pure brilliantness everywhere, I felt the sleep in my eyes and a yawn on my lips again. I took a peek under the blankets before I gave in to the tiredness and saw Jeeves dress for the day. That was something I would never grow tired even if I saw it everyday and that was when I realized something.

“Jeeves,” I said and yawned. He turned to face me. “We have to buy a bigger bed here.”
“Very good, Bertie,” he said and all I can remember before Morpheus took me to his land was the warm smile on Jeeves’ lips.



Phew, that's done, I can go to read what I have missed since last night. Why this place gets all creative when 'decent people should be in bed'?

Comments

[storyfan.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed this story because I think bathtubs and/or hot weather make wonderful plot devices. I sometimes wondered if Jeeves ever snuck a few minutes in Bertie's bathtub. Now I know! Very nice job on this.

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Hot and sweet, just the way I like my fics!
Small bone to pick, though: servants and masters didn't share the same bathroom unless they happen by chance to be touristing in some god-forsaken place that only has one bath. The servant's quarters in Bertie's bachelor pad would have come equipped with a small bathroom.

[pipariperho.livejournal.com]

Oh, blast. Well, good to know in the future. Let's just say there was something beyond Jeeves and Plumbo-Jumbo going on there... ;)

[charie-caphine.livejournal.com]

You certainly took the idea of a fanfic-cliché seriously. Not sure how do the dynamics of neatly falling into a bathtub work, but whatever. And what's Jeeves about using Bertie's bathroom? Aside from the ridiculously over-the-top premise, I rather enjoyed this.

[mxdp.livejournal.com]

'Why this place gets all creative when 'decent people should be in bed'?
Hear, hear!

And much ♥ to fandom clichés. They're always so sweet.

[reginaldrobot.livejournal.com]

I think Juliacarmen would be right in re. bathroom sharing, (there are plenty of fics with Jeeves in Bertie's bathroom, though), and yes, in re wtf with weird dynamics of falling into a tub, like Charie_caphine says, but, you know, I don't give a -fig- I enjoyed this immensely xD there are some punctuation mistakes, more like punctuation where they should be none, and I think a typo or two, but that aside *waves hand* This is lovely and delicious and fluffy and I loved your Jeeves and your Bertie, Jeeves seemed so happy about the whole situation. And I agree with Mxdp, I tend to adore Jooster fandom cliché fics, they're some sort of mental masturbatory device, delightful! xx

[closetofheroes.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this! Great fun. And thanks for pointing out that yes, it does get hot in England in the summer.

[triedunture.livejournal.com]

Very glad to see this posted. A first fic to be proud of, honestly.

[chaoticchaos13.livejournal.com]

rubber duck stuck between them indeed. :D

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Lovely story! It's sweet and hot and I so enjoyed reading it.

[jihime47.livejournal.com]

The rubber duck killed me. Thank God I'm home alone now, yet I think people outside could hear me. Whoops.