Beta Request

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Hallo!

I'm just finishing an NC-17 WWII dark!fic, and I'm wondering if anyone would care to beta it, please.

I only have two more scenes to write, which I'll do this weekend. It will be between 30,000-31,000 words when I finish. I need help with the Jeeves and Bertie character voices, Jeeves' quotations, the few bits of German, keeping the melodrama in check (especially this!), and keeping the NC-17 bits from being too mechanical or too girlie (I have two of them left to write *headdesk*). In short, I need help with everything :-)  Anyone willing to take on the challenge? Pretty please?

I've posted the first scene here (WARNING: It's one of our boys being tortured by a Nazi baddie): http://juliacarmen.livejournal.com/5367.html#cutid1
I've used nom de guerres for Bertie and Jeeves only in Part 1, and only when the baddie is around, because Pt 1 is from his POV. The other parts are from Jeeves' POV, except for the Epilogue, which is from Bertie's.

Thanks for reading!
  

Comments

[mrs-dalliard.livejournal.com]

Looks promising!
I could help you with the Nazi-speak.
LOL, Generalartzt LUSTIG?!

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Yes, please! What name would you prefer? It needs to be something Bertie can confuse (Lustig/Ludwig). I forget where I found Lustig. The one line of German I have in the fic is laughable too (translator bot):

Polizei! Sie zwei! Hände hinter ihren Kopf! Und Fall die Pistole!

[mrs-dalliard.livejournal.com]

Lustig is an awesome name for a Nazi!
Srsly, Mr. Funny, the Nazi! lol

The translation of the one line you got there is pretty accurate, but I would write: "Polizei!Sie zwei!Hände hoch!Und Pistole fallen lassen!"

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I'm off to work now. But can I email you the rest of the story when I get back? (my email is julia dot uelmen at gmail)

[mrs-dalliard.livejournal.com]

Sure, mine is tocotronicon@googlemail.com

[blackletter]

I'm utter rot as a beta reader beyond SPAG-check, but I wanted to say that I love the first scene and I'm eager for more!

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[mxdp.livejournal.com]

Gosh, looking good already!

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I love your icon! That's one of my favorite ABOFAL sketches!

[mxdp.livejournal.com]

Thought it only fitting, with the German/English/war thingummy. ^^

[random-c.livejournal.com]

I'd give it a go.

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Email me :-) The addy is in the above comments.

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

I would love to help - your writing looks fantastic! I can offer my services as a melodrama-checker, NC-17 scene smoothness, and general advice. And Jeeves character voice, albeit I offer that tentatively.

My email's camaden [at] gmail [dot] com, and I'm looking forward to your answer!

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Excellent! I'll email you what I've got tonight. And suggestions for the two missing NC-17 scenes would be most welcome!

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

Excellent! I can't wait to read it!

[closetofheroes.livejournal.com]

This looks fantastic. Can't wait to read more. If you need more beta-ing I can check spelling and grammar and can offer advice on Britishisms if necessary, but it looks like you've got it all in hand.

Very nicely written, very tense! I love Jeeves's politeness and restraint, very in character. I get the feeling 'lord Yaxley' will turn out to have more going on upstairs than Lustig realises...

One of these days I'll get my 2nd World War piece finished - though mine's more post-war, I suppose.

[juliacarmen.livejournal.com]

Thanks!
Please email me. I have a feeling I'll need help with the epilogue, which is told from Bertie's POV (not finished yet, though :-)
My email is julia dot uelmen at gmail etc.