Article and Discussion

[elliemorris.livejournal.com]

Hello, all - I'm a bit bored and wanted some discussion, so apologies in advance if this topic has already come up in the past. Also, there is a warning for those that are squeamish about horror-like topics.

I've read a fanfiction called "Let There Be No More Marriages" by malacophilous (and I hope the author won't mind me posting this here!), as well as a fanart of an extremely terrifying Jeeves preparing the rid his young master of yet another beazel. Being a horror fan on the side of a P.G. Wodehouse fluff fan, they really caught my eye. It's inspired me to think of a little plot line for a dark future fanfic, set out in an Agatha Christie-like murder mystery style, but still in Bertie's voice.

But what I wanted to know is, if Jeeves had to murder somebody, how would he go about it? Obviously he would be as neat and prim as possible, making sure no evidence was left behind at the scene of the crime, being Jeeves - but I'm struggling to think of something completely Jeevesian... The horror-lover within me wants to write something gory and covered in blood, but perhaps Jeeves is above being a knife-weilding maniac? *cough* Brinkley *cough*

What I've thought of so far are the following possible methods;
1) Poison in the tea (but the problem with this is that my story is going to be set at Woollam Chersey, so maybe I'd need a reason for Jeeves to be serving the tea?).
2) Bloody murder in a carefully prepared bathroom (e.g. he locks the victims in, covers the floor with a shower curtain, and then wraps the body up in it, and disposes of the evidence).

And aside from that, I found a really interesting internet article about "confirmed bachelors"! This somewhat leads me to believe that P.G. Wodehouse did have even a tiny inkling of how Bertie sounded. What do you think? :)

Comments

[hazeltea.livejournal.com]

Jeeves is the type of smug mofo that would pull some Titus Andronicus level shit on a country house XD

[elliemorris.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh, I just looked up the plot of that play, and it's insane! XD I suppose Jeeves especially could find a way to get away with all that bloodshed, but I don't think the young master could stomach it!

[haikitteh.livejournal.com]

Only poison for Jeeves. So easy to access, and so many opportunities to watch his victim suffer. He does love to watch Bertie suffer, doesn't he?

If not that, drowning in the bathtub. Or maybe suffocating after the y.m. has dropped drunkenly into the dreamless?

Now I've thought rather more about it than is comfortable.

[elliemorris.livejournal.com]

I do suppose poison is the more sophisticated means of ensuring Bertie stays away from the altar. ;)
For the poisoning, what if Jeeves slipped some kind of poison (arsenic, perhaps) into the tea that Agatha's butler was about to serve to a room full of guests - including the fiances he wanted to get rid of - over a period of days, to build up the amount it took to kill a person. He would make it look although the poisoning was actually some kind of sickness, like a flu epidemic, that gave them typical stomach problems and eventually led to fever and death. To make it look even more like an illness in the country house, he could slip laxatives or castor oil into Bertie's drinks to avoid suspicion, almost although he didn't die from the disease through good luck and strong health.
Do you think that could be believable enough? I think I may have some plot-holes there...

It is true that he enjoys Bertie's discomfort, but for this story I have no intention of killing the poor man! Too sad for me to pull off, I think - but that is an interesting idea for a future fic. I'd like to read one like that if anybody has written one!

[haikitteh.livejournal.com]

Oh, I see, you want to kill off other people, not Bertie. Yes, it does feel like he'd have to go a little further to kill people not directly under his care.

[elliemorris.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'd have the heart to kill off Bertie. He's far too sweet!

[drunken-kurage.livejournal.com]

Jeeves is a clever chap.

He'd no doubt learn what he could about the his intended target. They're habits, places they frequent, how they get there. That sort of thing. Then he'd arrange things so that their death looked like an accident. It's hard accuse someone of murder if no one even knows a murder's been committed.

Or he'd frame it all on someone else, thus eliminating another undesirable. A two birds, one stone, as it were.

It'd take a lot of scheming. But Jeeves is good with scheming.

[elliemorris.livejournal.com]

Thanks for those ideas - I've kind of applied them to the reply to the comment above, in a way of thinking of a plot, if you want to see. :)

[minor-god.livejournal.com]

Good question! I do in fact think Jeeves would be a knife weilder, but not a maniac with it. Jeeves never loses his temper, despite there being no doubt that there's a bit of malice there sometimes, so I think he would be able to coldly slit a throat, or strangle someone with the calmness of a cook breaking a chicken's neck.

Also, have you ever seen Kind Hearts and Coronets? It stars Dennis Price (the Jeeves from the 1960s tv series) as a young man who kills a lot of his relatives for their money; his murders are cold and calculated and damn English. Trailer here, look at 2:23 - can't you just see Jeeves doing that?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yidAvsBhD7U

Also, I do like this as a possible unchartered territory for fanfic!

[elliemorris.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I need to see that film! I love old films (even if some of them are a little bit rubbish - but this one actually looks quite good), especially if they're horror. And seeing as it has a Jeeves actor in in, all the more reason to watch it!
I'm not sure why, but the captions in the video made me laugh, especially the "wholesale homicide" one, seeing as that's exactly what I'm planning for this fic!

That's true about Jeeves not losing his temper. I was hoping he would be a knife weilder, as I had a whole Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho scene playing out in my head when I got the plot bunny. XD
So far I've got a plan for poison in the comments (which seems more Jeevesian and plausible for framing the deaths on illness, rather than murder), and a throat-slitting like you suggest... Now I have to think of just one, hmm...

And thanks! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in your "The Crime" fanfiction when you update it (if you do)! :)