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indeedsir_backupRules:
1) A drabble is, by definition, a 100-word story therefore all responses should be 100 words exactly, no exceptions.
2) You may also choose to respond to this challenge with a five-minute sketch.
3)PLEASE put the word DRABBLE at the top of your post. That way people can easily spot the drabbles in amongst any reader comments they receive.
RATING:I don't think this should be limited so reader beware that they could be any rating (you could put it in the subject line if you feel it needs it)
PLEASE try to remember to make each drabble a comment in response to the original post. That way, if the comments start to collapse, the drabbles themselves should remain visible.
This week: Porn industry AU. Is Jeeves the best cameraman in the business? Is Bertie an adorable twink whose ineradicable innocence has launched a thousand tissues?
Alternate challenge: Modern-day Jeeves and Bertie meet up at a steampunk event.
1) A drabble is, by definition, a 100-word story therefore all responses should be 100 words exactly, no exceptions.
2) You may also choose to respond to this challenge with a five-minute sketch.
3)PLEASE put the word DRABBLE at the top of your post. That way people can easily spot the drabbles in amongst any reader comments they receive.
RATING:I don't think this should be limited so reader beware that they could be any rating (you could put it in the subject line if you feel it needs it)
PLEASE try to remember to make each drabble a comment in response to the original post. That way, if the comments start to collapse, the drabbles themselves should remain visible.
This week: Porn industry AU. Is Jeeves the best cameraman in the business? Is Bertie an adorable twink whose ineradicable innocence has launched a thousand tissues?
Alternate challenge: Modern-day Jeeves and Bertie meet up at a steampunk event.
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no subject
Date: 2013-12-01 02:04 am (UTC)Filming day dawned on a floodlit California rooftop. I donned the quick-release Lycra trousers commando as per the script and stood patiently while the costume assistant fastened my ridiculous bat-belt and cloak.
Ten minutes left. Performance anxiety struck. Uncomfortably aware that I look awful in Lycra, I tried unsuccessfully not to think of cricket, cold showers or Gussie Fink-Nottle. Oh lor’, I thought miserably as my trouser-tent receded: I’ve lost it -
There he was. Blessed relief. A presence at my side- well, crotch. Jeeves, fluffer extraordinaire. “So glad to “ - his hands and mouth were busy already - “ to – see – you...“ I panted. “Old chap...”
Moments later, the director cried, “Action!” Lance at the ready, I rode into battle. Thank goodness for Jeeves: I couldn’t play the preux chevalier without him.
--------------------------
Note: the above is the result of a quick google, five minutes on Metafilter (http://ask.metafilter.com/69941/How-do-male-porn-stars-do-what-they-do) and a further three on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluffer) (link provided just in case I'm not the only person on here who was sufficiently ignorant of the whole subject that they never even heard the word 'fluffer' before)...
no subject
Date: 2013-12-01 03:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-12-01 09:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-12-01 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-12-01 09:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-01 09:16 pm (UTC)I wish I'd thought of that!
Well done, old thing!
no subject
Date: 2013-12-01 09:50 pm (UTC)The makeup guy squealed when he saw my tired eyes, grabbed my hand and smeared concealer on my wrist. With mutters of “lighter, lighter,” and “damn’ talent, partying all night” he swept back to his trailer in search of alternatives. I was thus free to answer the unspoken question I saw in Jeeves’ eyes.
“Could hardly grab a wink,” I said. “It’s today’s shoot...”
Jeeves nodded. “I, too, would counsel caution. Spode has a certain reputation amongst the crew. I took the liberty of looking him up in the club-book, and it appears that the rumours are not without foundation.”
He handed me a photocopied sheet. I scanned it quickly: rough encounters, disregarded protests, unconsenting acts, the taking of spontaneous liberties and, indeed, anybody who took his fancy. The list was impressive. “This man should be blacklisted!” I said.
"Yes. But his popularity protects him.”
“Spode’s Blackshorts?”
“Indeed. They are a formidable fanbase.”
“But what am I to do?” I said. “I’ve signed a contract – I can’t back out now...”
“Yes,” said Jeeves. “But I believe you may be able to keep him to the contract.” The makeup guy erupted out of his trailer with six more tubes of concealer. With a quick motion, Jeeves pulled me to him and whispered, “It would greatly handicap him, were you to inform him that you knew all about Eulalie.”
“Eulalie?” I squawked.
“Yes. Eulalie,” and then the make-up bloke smothered me in UV-resistant foundation and I knew no more.
Later during shooting, I had cause to recall this conversation.
Grasping me firmly by both knees, smacking my buttocks and slamming into me in a most uncomfortable manner, Spode yelled, “Stay still, Wooster, or I’ll beat you to a jelly!”
“Ouch,” I said remonstratively. I spat out a mouthful of uninvited co-star. Then: “Steady on, Spode, this isn’t in the script!”
“Blast it, Wooster, humph, eh, stop wriggling!”
“Spode,” I said with as much dignity as a man can muster when he’s dangling face- down onto a coffee-table and doing an impromptu splits for the delight of an objectionable and overweight Nazi, “Just one minute. Before you start getting above yourself, it may surprise you to know I know all about Elgar.”
If anything, he redoubled his efforts. “What?”
“Not Elgar,” I said. “Ezra. No. Euripides! Eucharist. No. Ouch! Europe! Euphonium? Dammit, Spode.” Through a haze of pain I saw Jeeves mouthing something. At last I remembered.“Eulalie! Eulalie!”
His movements slowed. He placed my knees reverently back onto the coffee-table. “I’m terribly sorry, Wooster. I hmmph quite forgot myself.” And for the rest of the shoot, he was unerringly solicitous: “Nibbles? Coke? Blowjob?”
When at last I escaped, I sought out Jeeves. “Jeeves,” I said, “That magic word of yours works like a charm. But I must know: what did Spode do to this Eulalie girl? Murder her?”
“I fear I am not at liberty to say.”
“Come on, Jeeves!”
“I fear not.”
I gave it up.
That night, however, I asked Jeeves again. “I do wish you would give me the inside facts about Eulalie.”
“I fear - “
“I would keep it dark,” I said. He made the great decision. I added, “Give me the low-down, and I’ll bring you to the AVN Awards in Vegas.”
And he told me.”Mr Spode’s mother is Eulalie, nee Spode, better-known as the well-known anti-pornography campaigner Professor Eulalie S. Minder of Westgate College, Somerton. She is the founder and chairperson of the Anti-Pornography campaign in Yuma, Arizona and the Midwest, and he sends her regular campaign donations from the fictitious business which he allows his family to believe consumes his waking hours: a crochet toilet-roll cover manufacturing enterprise in Colorado.”
“You don’t mean that!”
“Yes,” said Jeeves.
“Good lord! No wonder he didn’t want the thing to come out.”
“Yes. It would unquestionably darken the atmosphere at Thanksgiving dinners.”
“You can’t be a successful porn magnate and manufacture novelty TP cosies.”
“No.”
“One or the other, but not both.”
“Precisely,” said Jeeves. And we retired to the jacuzzi.
* Above text used with apologies to Plum.
no subject
Date: 2013-12-02 02:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-12-02 09:24 pm (UTC)I want to write fills for 'Jeeves initially thinks Wooster is stupid then falls in love a bit at a time', but Wooster insists on being bent over a coffee table and buggered by a bounder. Bad Bertie!
Also, bad livejournal. My browser says it is misbehaving :(
no subject
Date: 2013-12-03 05:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-01 09:23 pm (UTC)Excellent, old fruit!
^5
no subject
Date: 2014-03-01 09:31 pm (UTC)~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DRABBLE: (#1) The Adventures Of Reggie Jeeves, Up And Coming Young Cameraman
The tall, slender actor—‘Willowy Willy’—shared a quick cigarette and laughter-punctuated conversation with some of the set crew. When the set manager halloo’d, he handed off the gasper and strolled back on-set. Still smiling slightly, dropping his dressing gown, ‘Willy’ then clambered onto the bed with his burly co-star, who’d chosen to nap during his break and, with a big yawn, resumed his previous position.
Reggie Jeeves, covering for the usual cameraman, who’d come down ill, smirked. He’d overheard the mentally-negligible young wastrel’s conversation, and wagered he couldn’t manage any real acting.
How wrong Jeeves turned out to be!
no subject
Date: 2014-03-02 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-01 10:01 pm (UTC)~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DRABBLE: (#2) Convention Kismet
The dignified gent in the brass-and-gear-accented frock coat strode gracefully through the lobby, leaving Bertie gawping, then tugging down his goggles for a better look. The chap’s costume was intricately fashioned perfection.
“I say! ‘Scuse me,” Bertie called out, hurrying over, his tool-belt rattling at his lean hips. The man turned to face Bertie with a coolly curious expression on his handsome face, nose delightfully off-centre next to a glowing green monocle. “Your kit’s simply stunning, old thing!”
“Thank you.” The man’s voice was liquid posh, deep and smooth, as was the nod of his top-hatted head. “You’re portraying an inventor?”
“Portraying and am one, actually!” Bertie replied cheerily. He tapped one of the buttons on his waistcoat and fine insulated filaments woven throughout glowed in ornate paths to the various devices built-in. “Got a tiny camera here… compact radio transceiver—channel dial, push-to-talk, and speaker, see?”
“You made this yourself?” The gentleman asked, dark brows subtly conveying doubtful surprise. By Jingo, wasn’t he tall!
“Yes!” Bertie rocked on his heels, clasping his hands behind him. “Care to join me for lunch and talk shop? Name’s Bertie Wooster.”
“Reginald Jeeves, and indeed, I would.”
Polite handshakings managed, off they went.
no subject
Date: 2014-09-04 08:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-04 09:03 pm (UTC)Also - YES! and thankee! :D