indeedsir_backup | Seahorse Jooster mpreg (dear God!) and a lot of fry... (Reply)

momentarylapse8's AU drabble suggestion "seahorses," with its obvious implications of mpreg, lodged itself in my mind and refused to unlodge. The aforementioned m.l.8 had rapidly followed the suggestion with a rhetorical "WTF?," but I was unable to refrain from indeed asking W of TF in question, and what began as a moderately noxious drawble snowballed into this towering inferno of cracktosity (if snowballs can infern). I apologize profusely, since the phrase "seahorse Jooster mpreg" probably never needed to occur on this planet. Or any other planet for that matter. I'm experimenting with styles here and I went a bit photoshop ballistic, but that's really the least of my sins...

(Also, IS, do you not have a "crack" tag? Did you not foresee that this day would come? I think it's in the Book of Revelations between the locusts and the seven-headed dragon.)

Edit: now with some unnecessary animations in the comments section. Seahorse Jooster - it's even more annoying as a gif!

Seahorses have an unusual reproductive strategy.

(Inspired by this photo of seahorses. Seriously how cute are seahorses with their intertwining tails and general glompiness?)

The gestation is also a challenging time for the pregnant seahorse's mate.

(The Snakehead fish can breathe air, climb trees and wipe out entire ecosystems.)

The mate visits the gestating father daily and performs a ritual reminiscent of the courtship. The father, meanwhile, produces massive amounts of the hormone prolactin to nourish the young.

Between 9 and 45 days later (depending on the species), the father gives birth. Seahorses can have as many as 1500 young,which are called fry.* The young are perfect miniature replicas of the adults.

*Science!canon. They are not, however, necessarily called Stephen.

(OK, huge apologies. If you put your head in your hands for a while and breathe deeply, it will probably be OK.)