Fic: Redemption, part 24 (PG-13)

[hazeltea.livejournal.com]

This has been rattling around in my brain since I read Yours, Plum: The Letters of P.G. Wodehouse a few years ago.I wanted to try continuing the 1953 fanfic by J. Maclaren-Ross , which was lovingly transcribed here by chaoticchaos13

Pairing:Jeeves/Bertie
Disclaimer: I make no profit from the lovely world of Wodehouse.

Part 1: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/849688.html#cutid1
Part 2: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/851698.html#cutid1
Part 3: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/853433.html#cutid1
Part 4: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/854770.html#cutid1
Part 5: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/856387.html#cutid1
Part 6: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/861280.html#cutid1
Part 7: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/864721.html#cutid1
Part 8: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/867046.html#cutid1
Part 9: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/870100.html#cutid1
Part 10: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/871794.html#cutid1
Part 11: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/875432.html#cutid1
Part 12: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/876502.html#cutid1
Part 13: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/880681.html#cutid1
Part 14: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/881405.html#cutid1
Part 15: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/881540.html#cutid1
Part 16: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/890509.html#cutid1
Part 17: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/896757.html#cutid1
Part 18: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/899617.html#cutid1
Part 19: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/904805.html#cutid1
Part 20: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/913398.html#cutid1
Part 21: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/935186.html#cutid1
Part 22: http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/939558.html#cutid1
Part 23: http://indeedsir.livejournal.com/946312.html#cutid1


It was my afternoon off, and I had just indulged in a quick one and two rather slower at the Junior Ganymede. I was troubled, therefore, to find Jeeves in the flat upon my return, when he ought to have been out having his dinner with the grander members of the House of Lords. Not merely home, either, but in shirtsleeves on the chesterfield, an empty glass and a half empty bottle of the best beside him. He bent forward, leaning on his knees, a most un-Jeeveslike sort of slump.

“Jeeves, love…” I hurried to sit beside him, and took his face in my hands. “What’s wrong?"

“Sir.” He sat up straighter, and pulled on the mask again, but it was no use.

“Out with it, man. Please.”

He looked off into the distance, at nothing in particular except perhaps a patch of wall. “It is… one of my gentlemen, sir. Mr. Wainwright. Early this morning, he took his own life. He broke the lock on the service door to the roof, and he fell.”

I had felt a childish pang of jealousy at first, for it was always I who he called his gentleman, and me alone, but a rush of shame scolded me as the rest of the tale unfolded. I did recall Percy Wainwright, a distant cousin of the Threepwoods, although I knew him only by sight; for he had spent the better part of his life travelling abroad to savage places where a hot bath couldn’t be had for love nor money. I wasn’t quite certain what had landed him in Jeeves’ care, except perhaps the loss of his own little all, and the loss of a hand and two brothers in the war. Perhaps that was enough.

“I’m sorry.” I answered, lamely. It was clear that Jeeves took the oversight of the locked door not having an armed watchman as well as a terrible fault of his own, much as he had grieved any slight imperfection in his former domestic duties. When Jeeves devotes himself to a scheme, the very heart of him is at risk.

“My dear, broken gentlemen…” he shuddered, and I half crawled into his lap, as I knew that he quite liked for me to do so. “It could have been you, sir.” He whispered, and I saw in his eyes so many things; the guilt of the barely concealed thankfulness behind his confession, the shame of his imagined failure, the tears of grief which would never be shed for a man who would chat with him of safaris in Africa and yet know his place in good society.

“It could have been, if you hadn’t saved me.” I countered. He was staring off into the distance again, and his fingers were fidgeting with his watch, where he’d kept that lock of my hair hidden for all these years. I wondered how often he’d fretted over the damned thing like this during the war. “I’m right here.” I added, drawing his hand away and to my chest. The startled look of a man broken from his reverie flitted across his map, and he turned his attention fully to me.

“There were no other men during the war, sir. There had been no one since I entered your service, in fact."

It seemed a rum thing to bring up at the time, and I said so. He continued anyway.

“It would have been too dangerous, sir, too much of a risk. There were beautiful men, to be sure, but I was always looking for your eyes in theirs, and I never found it. Not one man with eyes like cobalt glass.”

“Would you have gone to bed with a cobalt-eyed German?” I asked, half teasingly, to rouse him from his melancholy.

“Never.” He growled, and I was taken aback by the brusqueness of the response. “A man of God is celibate for a reason, as is a man in love. It was all I had to live for.”

I could recall only one other time when I had felt my guilt as a whore so acutely, and he had been witness to that, as well. I closed my eyes to not have to meet his. I’d convinced myself that I was in love when I’d had my affair with Stinker, because he’d said such sweet things to me, and that justified it, somehow. I’d rationalized the money slipped to me by various men as kindness, as charity, taken their lusts and demands as a sort of game; all the while a servant with more nobility in his soul than the king himself was chaste for a man who had never even given him a vow.

“Forgive me, sir. I have spoken rashly."

“Quite all right, old thing.” I replied, leaning into the caress of his palm. “One is foolish, God knows I have been.” He looked as though he would protest, so I leaned forward to silence him with a kiss. One good thing about my past is that practice, as they say, does make perfect, and I was confident in my ability to comfort. Chaps have told me that my mouth was enough to make a man forget his own name, and I intended for Jeeves to forget, if only for a little while.

I stood, pulling him with me, and gently tugged on his hands, urging him towards his bedroom. I walked backwards, leading him with both hands, until I felt the edge of the bed against my legs. “You are a good man, a wonderful, wise man, a marvel.” I mumbled into his collar. “ You couldn’t have stopped this. You helped as much as you could have, as much as anyone could have. Old Pop Glossop himself has made a science of it, and hasn’t been able to save everyone, that’s why he needs you. Believe me.”

“I wish to, sir.”

“Then do as you wish. You’re Lord Jeeves, after all. “ I offered him a wry grin. “You might have anything you want. “ I pressed close, running my hands down his flanks.

“What I wish, sir, is for you to give your word that you will never leave me willingly.” His voice was distinctly soupy. This forgetting wheeze would be a great deal more difficult than I’d counted on.

“You have it, love. Couldn’t pry me from your side with a crowbar.” I worked open the buttons of his shirt, and kissed my way down to his navel. I noted, with some pride, that he was beginning to lose the gauntness of war, no doubt to the fact that I’d made him eat all of his meals, no matter how busy or troubled he was. “I promise. “ I pressed a kiss to his belly, and slipped my hand into his trousers. His flesh was still flaccid against my touch, perhaps he’d imbibed a bit too much; or perhaps he was too distracted to care. I withdrew, and gave him an inquiring glance.

“Forgive me, sir. I am… not myself today.” He looked quite flushed and embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, love, you’ll feel better after a bit of a lie down.” I finished stripping him down, and helped him beneath the covers. I hastened with my own clothing, and joined him, resting my head on his chest. After a few quiet moments, I shifted.

“I say, Jeeves…I can’t say that there’s been no one else, you know, but I can say that there will never be anyone else for me, ever again. Furthermore, you’re the only man I’ve ever loved, and the handsomest cove of all, to boot.” I felt the need to remind him, a hundred times, if I had to.

“Thank you, sir.” He sighed. “I did not mean to insult you, nor question your loyalty, which I know is true. You are a man who keeps your word, sir, and you needn’t feel any guilt, for you had not given it to me when you were with the others.”

I nodded. “Were you close?” I asked, after a few moments of silence. I stroked his chest, and watched his expression transform through several rummy changes.

“Not particularly.” He admitted. “He was a quiet man, but would speak if spoken to. I believe that his was a gentle soul. He was a naturalist, and would show me his notebooks, with sketches of exotic species. He was learning to sketch with his left hand… I failed to see that he was in so much pain, sir. I failed him.”

“These things can’t always be seen, I suppose. It must be difficult.” He was relaxing now, his features softening.

“Perhaps, if I’d spent more time with him…” he sighed, his entire being heavy with regret.

An idea was beginning to knock about the old onion, and I gave it voice. “I say, I’m supposed to be your assistant, what? You could let me file those papers you’re always fussing with, and keep your appointments, and then you’d have more time to spend at the Dr- the clinic.” I felt proud, as though I’d really hit upon a corker of a notion.

“I did not intend for you to have to assume my duties, sir, especially as you look after my needs in every other way.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. It seemed that he’d already considered it, and found my unoriginal idea lacking the stuff.

“I’ll do it, and I’ll stop doing it if I’m not up to the task.” I insisted. “Even a little bit more time would help you, what?” I beamed at him, and after a few moments, he seemed to agree.

“Thank you, sir.” He mumbled, sleep beginning to overtake him. I stayed with him until he was snoring softly, and then slipped from his grasp so that I might cook our dinner.