indeedsir_backup | Jeeves and the Missing Manuscript

So! Here's that epilogue finally and a master list of links to the chapters to go along with it. Also, a colored version of the sketch I did of the boys a couple chapters ago. Humans are interesting things to draw.

Title: Jeeves and the Missing Manuscript
Chapter: Epilogue and Master Links List
Pairing: Jeeves/Bertie
Rating for Chapter: G
Summary: Bertie meets a young Agatha Christie and hits it off with her at a garden party. She even offers to let him read and comment on her latest manuscript, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, before she posts it to her publisher. Of course, mayhem ensues when the manuscript is stolen and Jeeves and Bertie must find and return it to the rightful owner. Mix in a dash of danger, anger, angst, and unrequited feeling, and it's the perfect storm for 'certain whatsits' to come to light.
Disclaimer: Jeeves, Bertie, and all characters associated with their idyllic world belong to P.G. Wodehouse. Mrs. Christie belongs to herself last I checked.

Dear Stiffy,

I wanted to apologize for what happened with Bartholomew at Twing Hall. I realize it was far out of line, but you must know that I never intended for it to go quite that far. I’d just returned from where you’d left me to wallow in Ginny’s Lake, my new trousers torn and my leg bleeding, and I was in a dreadfully foul mood. I acted before I could wrap my head around the imple-whatsits of the decision. Really, I am sorry, old thing. You’ve had done worse to me, so I know I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up, but you’d stolen Agatha’s manuscript after blackmailing me with the possibility of Cynthia being carted off to some wretched old bounder in India. You can understand why I was in a bit of a state, what?

In any case, it was mean and nasty and far beneath this Wooster to act in so childish and petty a manner. I hope you can forgive me in time. I wish you, Stinker, and Bartholomew the best and am sending along a package of chocolates for you and treats for Bartholomew with this missive. I know that’s small recompense for making a girl cry, but it’s a start. If there’s something else I can do to make it up to you, please do let me know. I’ve been feeling the worse sort of scoundrel ever since the garden party.

With Deepest Regret,
Bertram W. Wooster

--- --- ---

BERTRAM WOOSTER
                BERKLEY MANSIONS. LONDON.
                BERTIE YOU SLUG. RECEIVED LETTER FROM DRUSCILLA WICKHAMMERSLEY TODAY. YOU BRING SHAME TO NAME OF WOOSTER. CYNTHIA NO LONGER PROSPECT DUE TO YOUR INCOMPETENCE. YOU WILL COME FOR LUNCH TOMORROW TO SORT OUT THIS MESS. BETHLY-PARSONS GIRL RECENTLY AVAILABLE. WHY WAS I CURSED WITH SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE NEPHEW. GREGSON.

--- --- ---

AGATHA GREGSON
                BUMPLEIGH HALL. STEEPLE BUMPLEIGH. HAMPSHIRE.
                DEEPEST REGRETS AGED A. WILL BE TOURING CONTINENT IN SEARCH OF LOVE STARTING TOMORROW. ALAS MY BROKEN HEART THAT LOST DEAREST CYNTHIA. CANNOT THINK OF ANOTHER ENGLISH GIRL AFTER HER. MY HEART. MY HEART. MY WOUNDED HEART. BUT WILL KEEP UPPER LIP STIFF THROUGH IT ALL. EVER SORROWFUL NEPHEW BERTRAM.

--- --- ---

Dear Cynthia,

Dreadfully sorry about the mess on the response card. My mind must have been elsewhere when I put Jeeves’ name down, too. I mean, he’ll be with me, of course, but as my servant. As usual. Nothing out of the usual at all. Right. Just wanted to let you know, old thing. Well, see you in November and all the best!

Toodle Pip,
Bertie

P.S. I'm rather surprised your mother invited me, actually. Not that I'm complaining! Just seems jolly odd.

--- --- ---

Dear Bertie,

It’s not a problem, and you had better bring Jeeves along. He’s the reason I get to marry Geo! I am terribly sorry that Mummy slapped you, but what a strange man you are. You weren’t supposed to say anything! I’m still never playing tennis with Stiffy again. She was just insufferable after you left Twing, going on and on about how it was all your fault ‘poor little Bartholomew’ was hurt. She tried ticking Geo off, but he wasn’t having that and Daddy wouldn’t hear of it, either. I suppose I should send her an invitation, too, but I’m still so angry at her. Imagine! Threatening to let me get married off to a horrible man just to get you to play along with her schemes.

I heard from Mummy, who heard from your aunt, that you’re touring the continent at the moment. Bring me back some chocolates from Switzerland as a wedding gift, and I should be ever so grateful.

Much Love,
Cynthia

P.S. That was my doing, silly. I convinced Mummy that it would be rubbing things in your nose if you had to watch a 'real man' like Geo walk me down the aisle in your place.

--- --- ---

Dear Bertie,

I suppose I can forgive you this one time, but know that I shall not be so kind the next. Poor Bartholomew was absolutely traumatized by that brute Chilcott attacking him. It’s just rot that Cynthia’s marrying that tyrant. He is a bit handsome, but she can’t expect that to make up for all of his other defects. My Harold may be clumsy, but at least he has character! In any case, I can’t believe that you could be so stupid. Well, actually I suppose I can. You should really get married, Bertie. You need someone to tell you off properly when you think up these atrocious schemes. Or at least ask Jeeves first! He could’ve given you something far more subtle and inventive.

Oh, by the way, when you return from the continent, I might have something that you could do for me. Harold’s doing well at his new vicarage, but I want to help him out. If you could just attack one of the more prominent members of his flock so that he could save them, that would be ever so helpful. We’ll work out a time and place for the scheme soon.

Regards,
Stiffy

--- --- ---

Dear Agatha,

I hope you’re doing well, old thing. Haven’t talked to you in a bit, but Jeeves and I are touring Switzerland at the moment – in search of a wedding gift for Cynthia and Chilcott – so I may have missed a telephone call or three. I received your new novel via the kind forwarding of my doorman, though. It was absolutely gripping! I can’t believe that twist you pulled out at the end! You tricky woman, you! Jeeves said he had his suspicions about the whatsit, but was ‘sufficiently surprised by the protagonist’s summation of events and the story’s resolution’. Between you and me, I think he was just as shocked as me. I was watching him when he was reading the last few chapters, and I saw the man’s eyebrows hopping up and down like mice on mattresses. He’s dreadfully fun to watch when he’s reading, you know? He’s so engrossed that he drops his guard. Never would have thought I’d get to see that side of him.

But, well, you know wandering eyes with missives and such. I shall be brevity itself, then, what? Jeeves has entered into a darts tournament sponsored by a group of flying enthusiasts down here that has some absolutely spiffing prizes by the look of it. One of them is a cruise to America where the winner and one guest will get to meet some beazel by the name of Amelia Earhart. Jeeves tells me she’s a famous American sort, zipping about at some-odd-thousand feet in her aeroplane. Didn’t think many beazels went in for that type of work, but there you are, and there’s certainly nothing you lovely ladies couldn’t do if you put your minds to it!

I hope you’re doing well and that... well, that things on the home front aren’t too unbearable. I really do wish there was something I could do for you, Agatha, old thing.

Toodle Pip,
Bertram Wooster

--- --- ---

Dear Bertie,

Oh, I do hope Mr. Jeeves wins the darts tournament! Meeting Amelia Earhart would be the most wonderful thing. I’ve read about her in a few magazines, and she seems to lead a terribly exciting and busy life. If you do meet her, there is something you can do for me: Write the story down and send it. All of it. I expect many juicy details, Bertram Wooster! I promise I’ll even take better care of it than you did of my manuscript (of course, I’m only teasing).

Things have been as one might expect for me. There’s the publication of my novel to keep me distracted, thankfully, and Archie’s trying. He’s stopped seeing... well, he’s trying. Thank you for your kind words and thoughts, but it’s my burden to bear.

Anyway, I hope to see you at Cynthia and George’s wedding. I’m so glad they could be together because of that mad scheme you and Mr. Jeeves worked out. (And I’m so very happy certain other persons could benefit from it, as well.)

Kindest Regards,
Agatha Christie

P.S. You must send me a postcard soon, or I shall be very cross with you, indeed, Mr. Wooster!