If you'd used different words (i.e. dom/sub instead of foreign seme/uke) and hadn't imposed the idea that top = dom and bottom = sub, people would've discussed what you intended them to discuss. [...] Which I think was "which one of them is more dominant and which more submissive?", though because of the aforementioned top/dom, bottom/sub fallacy, it could've also been "which one of them does the buggering?"
Must say that as one of those involved in the original comments this is precisely what I felt about it. I still might have challenged the premise of the question - i.e. that notion that it is clear-cut and there are specific roles involved, either in this or in any other relationship - but it would have been a lot easier to engage with the subject without the Japanese references. In fact, if you wanted to start again and phrase the question in a different way I think you'd find people very willing to discuss it.
But like a lot of others I'm sorry you felt deletion was your only option. I know many of us made our points fairly strongly but I wasn't aware that it had become particularly unpleasant. I think you should definitely give it another try.
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Date: 2009-06-10 08:00 am (UTC)Must say that as one of those involved in the original comments this is precisely what I felt about it. I still might have challenged the premise of the question - i.e. that notion that it is clear-cut and there are specific roles involved, either in this or in any other relationship - but it would have been a lot easier to engage with the subject without the Japanese references. In fact, if you wanted to start again and phrase the question in a different way I think you'd find people very willing to discuss it.
But like a lot of others I'm sorry you felt deletion was your only option. I know many of us made our points fairly strongly but I wasn't aware that it had become particularly unpleasant. I think you should definitely give it another try.