FanFic100, #49: "Drones Club Haiku"

[careena.livejournal.com]

Cross-posted to my journal, indeedsir, and rightho.

I've just had the audacity to claim the Jeeves and Wooster fandom in the fanfic100 challenge. God only knows how much writing I've let myself in for, but I know at least a couple people who'll be pleased. These can be drabbles, poems, scripts, whatever goes past 100 words, but they have to adhere to a table of 100 different prompts. I'll certainly be adding/editing before I post it to the fanfic100 community.

Title: Drones Club Haiku
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Author: Careena Cornette (Careena @ Gmail)
Prompt: #049, "Club"
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Many haiku-- some dreadfully immature-- about the Drones Club.
Archiving: Yes, given notice.

DRONES CLUB HAIKU
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you both went to
answer that phone call, you seem
to have swapped your shirts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Excuse me, but I'd
like to chuck some rolls about,
and you're in the way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The silence of the
library, broken by my
new whoopie cushion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No coincidence,
our club's proximity to
all those Turkish baths.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later on, the haiku become

Privileged young men
with about fifteen diff'rent
brain cells between them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Great Neptune's ocean:
the vast volume of liquid
from the Drones Club bar.

More numberous than
all the stars in the Heavens:
Drones's hangovers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snow on Mount Fuji.
What's that white patch on your tie
...and also your chin?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Floating gracefully
like water lilies, pants and
vests are in the pool.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like a clear blue sky,
the vapid, vacant, stupid
look on Barmy's face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oofy must have tipped
that blonde waiter quite a sum,
for what they're doing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Bumper pool," indeed.
If you knew where it had been,
you'd wash that cue off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gambolling about
like new foals in the springtime:
Bingo's case of Crabs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought "fletching" had
to do with arrows, and not
gerbils. Or your newts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



PS: lots more communities have sprung up as offshoots of this challenge. Most use the same table of prompts. Some have slight variations in theme or requirements, but others are just an opportunity for you to choose a fandom or pairing that's already been claimed.

Comments

[skyblue-reverie.livejournal.com]

These are hilarious! I can't wait to see more. Thanks for writing & posting! ("Fifteen diff'rent brain cells" - ha! And so true!)

[weaselwoman13.livejournal.com]

Awesome, Careena! I laughed out louded!

[issyadore.livejournal.com]

hahahaha these are fantastic!

[tilly-stratford.livejournal.com]

They're great! The vagueness of some of them makes them even better!

That being said, I don't want to rain on your parade or anything, but these are really much more like senryū (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senryu) than haikus. It's a common misunderstanding that all short poems consisting of three words are haikus (though there are strict rules to those as well, for example that there must be no more than 11 "syllables"), but there are many spectres that aren't as well known.

Sorry, this is not me being bitchy, I'm just geeky on default today :-D

[tabula-x-rasa.livejournal.com]

*sporfle*

Well done! Good luck on your challenge!

[truly-bohemian.livejournal.com]

Ah, I love these! The sexual escapades of a Drone or two are always welcome in my book! I adore the first two especially. But poor Bingo - he's too spoony for his own good health.

"Bumper pool," indeed.
If you knew where it had been,
you'd wash that cue off.
After finding a Snooker Slash community, and listening to my best friend reminding me over and over of the more exotic uses for a snooker cue during the weekend, that really is rubbing salt in the wound. Still, it's an idea for Lt. George's silly buggers society...

[lucylou.livejournal.com]

Aaa! At last! Oh I'm sure I don't have to tell you how pleased I am at your return! Hooray! I look forward to more, and please let me know if you'd like something illustrated, or would be interested in some sort of collaboration.
Much devotion,
Lucy

[furius.livejournal.com]

Hilarious, and possibly very accurate descriptions of Drones. I love the pants one the best. It just seems so plausible to imagine them going skinny dipping. (What would Jeeves say? ;p) It was quite in vogue among certain circles of young people in the day.

[msliz4857.livejournal.com]

Greetings! These are absolutely wonderful!

There is an effort underway to pull together a links archive of all Jeeves & Wooster fan material. I see you have an "archive: yes, given notice" note on this post, so I'd like to give notice that I've included this in the archive. :)

I'll also include http://cotillion.slashcity.org/efic/viewstory.php?sid=131 in the archive.

If you prefer not to have your work archived, please let me know and I will gladly have it removed.

Here's a link to info about the archive that's been posted recently. It's expected to go live on 20 Feb!
http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/265220.html
http://community.livejournal.com/indeedsir/271046.html

Don't hesitate to be in touch if you have any questions. Thanks for your wonderful work! :)