Safety First

Jeeves stared at the thing as if he thought it would rear up at any minute and take a bite out of him.

"It is . . . pink, sir."

"Strawberry flavored, Jeeves!"

"And striated."

"Ribbed, for your pleasure."

Jeeves shuddered delicately.

"I've got another one that glows in the dark," I put in helpfully.

My man drew himself up to his full height. "Gentlemen do not have luminous members, sir," he said with a certain coolness.

"Ah, but what about this one made up to look like a tomato hornworm? Dashed clever, what?"

"No, sir."

"Oh, all right, Jeeves."